You Know You Own an S2000 When... (Photos)
Most people just drive cars; you live yours. Here's proof.
1. You plan your life around the drive
Navigation systems are cute, aren't they? They're full of helpful information on the quickest way to get from A to B, happy to route you from one dead-straight path to another. But the S2000 doesn't have a navigation system, and for good reason: its mission in life is to turn--hard--and sprint from one apex to another, not trundle along in traffic. So when it comes time to plan an adventure--if you're doing it right, EVERY drive is an adventure--you don't look to a map to show you the quickest way, you use it to find the way that will make your pulse go quickest.
2. Your human relationships come second
Anyone who looks at an S2000 knows it's a two-seater with a small trunk. So they figure that so long as they're the only passenger and what they're looking to haul will fit, they're golden. But no. If the weather isn't clear, the roads to and fro aren't neat and smooth and all driveways aren't nearly flat, your S2000-ed brain will reflexively say no, damn the consequences. Besides, they probably want something potentially messy, and their weight will upset the handling.
3. You think every engine redlines at 9k rpm
The S2000 rewires its owners' brains to overcome the innate fear of more than five or six thousand rpm on anything but a Moto GP Superbike in favor of the expectation that all the fun in a car starts north of 7k. This is why they are often relegated to the passenger seat in "normal" cars, where they will constantly wonder why the driver is short-shifting every single time even if said driver is constantly winding their tach to redline. So you almost blew somebody's engine up a few times; that's no reason to relegate you to the right seat. It's not your fault their car's inferior...
4. Every road is your own Road America
There are few things more satisfying than nailing the apex of every single turn on your favorite stretch of road. One of them, however, is doing it faster. Where others see mundane strips of deserted asphalt, you see your own private road course. And the more challenging it is to drive well, the better. This leads to endless hours of scouting every piece of undulating pavement you can find until you create your perfect private "lap" to challenge again and again. And that, as every S2000 owner knows, is why they're putting their tire dealer's kid through college.
5. Other car interiors are doing it wrong
As every LHD S2000 owner knows, the way you start a car is to step on the clutch, snick the bolt-action shifter into neutral, turn the key and stab the Engine Start button on the lower left of the dash below the controls for the "hidden" audio system. Simple. And speaking of hidden, why do other cars have such obvious storage compartments? Like mastering the proper way to enter an S2000--empty pockets, step in, sit gently while avoiding the bolster and WITHOUT grabbing the window--knowing its many secrets is part of the appeal. Anything else is just not rational.
6. You’ve spent MSRP+ on mods and aren’t done
Honda created an incredible car. But it's not quite perfect. Truth be told, it could use more power. And more power means better brakes and suspension bits are needed, and they are nothing without the perfect set of performance tires. But the better a car turns and stops, the more power it can handle. But to put all that power down you need wider wheels which--naturally--means wider tires, and because they stick out a bit from the stock wheel arches, you have to have a full body kit and decklid spoiler and racing seats and...
7. You can’t stop thinking—and communing—about it
the biggest of all signs that you're an S2000 junkie is the fact that you're reading this sentence--in this place--entirely on purpose. You can deny your obsession by saying S2Ki.com isn't your homepage, but I'm guessing that even you don't know exactly how much time you spend here with your fellow enthusiasts. I mean, apart from getting weather forecasts--of course rain's coming; you just detailed your car--ordering parts, Googling the "twistiest roads" in your area and whatever your boss keeps yelling at you about, this is all you need a computer for. After all, you can get everything else you need from behind the wheel of your S2000...