cheshire_carper

My car outside a house.

See two (non chav looking) scrotes approach my (top down) motor. Think oh, they`re only looking at it. One looks all furtive the other bends down at my rear wheel.

FOOK ME, he`s tryna nick my valve cap. I fricken EXPLODED. I went red mist and dashed out. They totally SHAT themselves.

I had a fit on em. One kept saying `I was doing nothing, I was doing nothing` he kept repeating that.


So I told em not to feck about with others property. I found out where they lived.


I left them for 5 mins, then I drove down where they were walking (heads down), I slowed up and said `watch your backs....I`ve got my eye on you two`.

Man it was gAnGsTa. I dished out some vigilante styleee to two 14 year old scrotes. I hope I put the fookers on the straight and narrow.

Next stop for me, a fight with an old chav...... oh thats coming alright....

Bassoctopus

you're my hero Col

cheshire_carper

Any 14 year olds that don`t look too hard pissing about with your car - contact me.

BenR

Hate the low class scum that roaves around the UK.

Reet bastids.

Go on, hook line & sinker, slap them with a carp!

Bassoctopus

Will do.

Word has probably already spread, I feel safer knowing that the spectre of the Carper is watching over all the S2000s in the country

euan

But Col - what are you going to do if, when your not there, the nasty little $hit(s) decides to key your car to reclaim his dented "pride".

In the good old days a bollocking like you just gave them would have worked - nowadays the scum think they have been "dissed" in front of their mates and will come back for revenge when you're not there.

cheshire_carper

I will shit on his mums front doorstep.

BenR

Hook a coil up to your door handles with copper wire lining it......brief explanation, but just wait for the fecker to jump with 20,000Volts.

Bassoctopus

Or his Dad will come round and see you claiming that his son would never do such a thing

cheshire_carper

He wont when me and my mates decide to piss about in his dads front garden. Been there, done it. Upset that particular family quite a bit.