BlackieZ

ya its mine, couldn't live without it... he borrows it every now and then

BlackieZ

oh common!! so easy! think of the gum! Excell! Excellerate yoooou breath! ...you have to sing it out loud though other wise it doesnt work

Mindcore

Ehh, I get enough excercize, I eat relatively healthy. I'm going to try and get out of my head this weekend, forget abou the woe is me crap for a couple days and see if that doesn't snap me out of it.

I appreciate your posts. Thanks

cthree

Welcome to the club.

Here's the ed up part: you may not actually be depressed at all. I tried it all, Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, tou name it, all garbage. I had one quack say I was bipolar so I was on both mood stabilizers and anti-depressents. Anyway none of that helped.

You've got medical insurance you should use it and go see a shrink (aka guy who writes prescriptions for the good shit) and get some drugs. I'm obviously not a doctor but having tried just about everything I found a doctor who thought I might have ADD. She prescribed me Adderall (dextroamphetamine by it's generic name, speed on the street) and life is good since

Note: Adderall was withdrawn from the market by Health Canada but is available in the US http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/ahc-asc/media/advis.../2005_01_e.html

For me the issue was that I'd get to thinking of all the shit I didn't do or that I had to do that I would never get done. I'd jump from one to the next over and over again in my head and that would lead to depression, no sense of control, low self esteem and paralysis. I'd lie in bed at night with all this crap going round and round in my head until I was so physically exhausted I could stay awake no more and finally fall asleep. It just seemed that I was ed no matter what I did and so I'd do nothing and that would continue the cycle.

That's all changed. I get up now when I used to go to sleep. I get a ton of shit done first thing in the morning. Things get crossed off my todo list and that sense of powerlessness is gone. Confidence is way up and as a result the depression is gone. I can still get a bit down but no more so than normal. I'm pain motivated so I always find myself under the gun and I'm better able to deal with it now and I feel that I can at least control the amount of pain I endure, I can turn it up or down at will.

The moral to the story is that there are options available and that sometimes you can't correct it by willpower alone. You need to be critical of the advice you get because most of the time it will be wrong. If you see a doctor and the drugs they prescribe don't work try a different doctor and a fresh approach to the problem. It took me 4 tries before I found one who actually helped. Each doctor will take their particular bias with them and so rather than trying a spectrum of options they will offer you many variations on a similar theme. Once they think they have you figured out they will tend to stick to that theory but they may be completely wrong. Most depressive disorders all have very similar symptoms so being wrong is easy.

For self help I suggest you cut out your intake of depressive drugs (alcohol, pot) as these are just going to make it worse once the initial high wears off. Up your intake of stimulants like caffeine (coffee, tea, red bull). You may find that's all you need. Designer drugs like SSRI's come with a lot of side effects (limp dick, mood swings, diarrhea) so opt for the simplest chemicals first.

I'd be happy to discuss my experience more with you.

BTW selling everything and moving to California is not that crazy an idea! Maybe crazy, but good crazy Here's an example:

Mostly Sunny, High 66F, 0% POP. I'll be wearing shorts and a t-shirt today and driving top-down

It probably won't solve your problem but it will certainly make it a lot easier to live with

HTH

comets

take 2 weeks off and go on a vacation