Ok, a serious thread, I think I have a problem
01-12-2006, 12:44 PM
#22
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I as well feel almost the same as you Mike. I left once to restart my life and i was loving it. Too bad i almost died in my free time on vacation and couldn't continue living in BC and doing the job i was doing. Now i've been back in my old lifestyle and i get more depressed every day.
I can't stand what i am doing for a job, i have no motivation to do anything, i freak out on people all the time cause my fuse is becoming so small, etc etc. I feel completely lost as well in my life and i don't know what to do either.
I have even attempted to look for other jobs but my self esteem has dropped as well so i don't feel like i have the qualifications to do what i am applying for even though i do. I also might go back to school again and really start all over but that would mean selling the one thing that puts a smile on my face and that is driving the crap out of the S which is sitting in storage.
All in all, i think there are many people in this situation and i don't know if it's just a way of life now or not. But i do know that it isn't fun at all.
I can't stand what i am doing for a job, i have no motivation to do anything, i freak out on people all the time cause my fuse is becoming so small, etc etc. I feel completely lost as well in my life and i don't know what to do either.
I have even attempted to look for other jobs but my self esteem has dropped as well so i don't feel like i have the qualifications to do what i am applying for even though i do. I also might go back to school again and really start all over but that would mean selling the one thing that puts a smile on my face and that is driving the crap out of the S which is sitting in storage.
All in all, i think there are many people in this situation and i don't know if it's just a way of life now or not. But i do know that it isn't fun at all.
01-12-2006, 01:23 PM
#23
Originally Posted by BlackieZ,Jan 12 2006, 04:05 PM
I went through some major depression not too long ago, I know what you're talking about. You can go to the doc and ask them to refer you to a specialist to talk with (psycho bable guy), but unless you have a chemical imbalance and actually need to be on drugs, don't do it, it sucks, at least I hated it. It gives you the illusion that this will be an easy way out and I think to a degree that hampers your will to get better on your own and fight. Talking to others definetly helps (hence the psycho bable guy). Getting things out in words makes you think and to a degree analyze yourself. You can talk to a professional or a good friend. What matters is that the person is a good listener and knows how to guide the discussion. You could even write your thoughts on paper (journal, printer scraps, whatever). Again, the process of getting your feelings into words works pretty good for identyfing the problems.
Chances are, it's something that has bothered you on some level for a long time and it's just been eating away bit by bit. It could be a bunch of little things, it could be one or two big things. If it's in your head, relocating will not make things go away. It gives a nice sense of illusion of getting away from things but things usually are a bit more complicated then that.
You need to figure out what exactly bothers you about your life and then fix that, change, make things better. That's pretty much what worked for me. Come up with a "list" of what you don't like about your life and why, where would you rather be, what would you rather do, what have you done in the past you wish you could undo, what didn't you do you wish you had done, etc. Then little bit by little bit, chip away at it. Break it all down into little baby steps, that way things won't feel overwhelming and hopeless. It's easier to accomplish 10 little goals then 1 big one. Plus you'll be more motivated to succeed if you feel the task is more attainable.
Bottom line is you have to try very hard to stay positive. When things go bad, know that they will get better. If you sit in a corner and cry feeling sorry for yourself, even if things are very bad, nothing will change. You have to take the initiative to help yourself and want to get better. It gets easier once you start seeing changes and begin to feel better.
Chances are, it's something that has bothered you on some level for a long time and it's just been eating away bit by bit. It could be a bunch of little things, it could be one or two big things. If it's in your head, relocating will not make things go away. It gives a nice sense of illusion of getting away from things but things usually are a bit more complicated then that.
You need to figure out what exactly bothers you about your life and then fix that, change, make things better. That's pretty much what worked for me. Come up with a "list" of what you don't like about your life and why, where would you rather be, what would you rather do, what have you done in the past you wish you could undo, what didn't you do you wish you had done, etc. Then little bit by little bit, chip away at it. Break it all down into little baby steps, that way things won't feel overwhelming and hopeless. It's easier to accomplish 10 little goals then 1 big one. Plus you'll be more motivated to succeed if you feel the task is more attainable.
Bottom line is you have to try very hard to stay positive. When things go bad, know that they will get better. If you sit in a corner and cry feeling sorry for yourself, even if things are very bad, nothing will change. You have to take the initiative to help yourself and want to get better. It gets easier once you start seeing changes and begin to feel better.
If you are clinically depressed, meds may be the way to go. They help some people, but for others they don't help or need to be changed many times before they're right. A GP will prescribe you meds, but not help you with any underlying issues. The meds are often a kind of 'springboard' for people do work out whatever's going on with them.Regardless, you know what's best for you, so trust your gut.
01-12-2006, 01:42 PM
#24
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Mike, reaching out for help in a great first step, congratulations. The fact that you have made this cause seems to indicate on a very fundemental level that you are ready for a change.
I'm all about hands-on therapy, getting yourself totally involved in a project and just trying to put the crap behind you. The tricky part is to discover what this project is going to be, good luck with that, only you can decide or know.
There is another thing and I will do my best to put this into words. Han nim yo and Han gam yo are two concepts from my fait/outlook on life. Han nim yo basically means from this moment on and Han gam yo means from this moment back. Although it is easy to get caught up in judgeing and looking back at what we have done or what we should have done or whatever; it is all in the past and you can't do anything about it, so let it go. Just concentrate on the Han nim yo, from this moment forward. Set your sights onto something and go forward to it. Judgeing yorself is so hard on your inner self because it is typically from a negative perspective and you don't need that.
When you find yourself reflecting and feeling bad because you did not accomplish that or you don't like the way that turned out or whatever, just get up and do something else. Redirect your mind back into the hear and now. This may seem all sort of strange, but trust me, once you start making these types of causes things will change, not overnight, but things can change.
Don't be hard on yourself. No matter how bad things are, trust me, it is a hell of a lot worse for many other people. Keep in mind this very important fact as it can do a lot to boost your spirits. be grateful for what you have, and see forward to what you want to work towards.
I'm all about hands-on therapy, getting yourself totally involved in a project and just trying to put the crap behind you. The tricky part is to discover what this project is going to be, good luck with that, only you can decide or know.
There is another thing and I will do my best to put this into words. Han nim yo and Han gam yo are two concepts from my fait/outlook on life. Han nim yo basically means from this moment on and Han gam yo means from this moment back. Although it is easy to get caught up in judgeing and looking back at what we have done or what we should have done or whatever; it is all in the past and you can't do anything about it, so let it go. Just concentrate on the Han nim yo, from this moment forward. Set your sights onto something and go forward to it. Judgeing yorself is so hard on your inner self because it is typically from a negative perspective and you don't need that.
When you find yourself reflecting and feeling bad because you did not accomplish that or you don't like the way that turned out or whatever, just get up and do something else. Redirect your mind back into the hear and now. This may seem all sort of strange, but trust me, once you start making these types of causes things will change, not overnight, but things can change.
Don't be hard on yourself. No matter how bad things are, trust me, it is a hell of a lot worse for many other people. Keep in mind this very important fact as it can do a lot to boost your spirits. be grateful for what you have, and see forward to what you want to work towards.
01-12-2006, 01:47 PM
#25
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Originally Posted by Mindcore,Jan 12 2006, 01:56 PM
I typically keep everything to myself, which may be part of the problem. I think I'm battling with depression.
Part of me thinks that if I can say that, then its probably something else, or maybe you can see it in yourself? I would think its one of those things you aren't really aware of.
Either way, I'm tired most of the time, sad most of the time, pissed off all the time, I have little motivation to do anything, work, play, sitting and watching a tv program seems to be a chore for me lately.
I'm short tempered with almost everyone around me, I'm spending a good portion of my day thinking about all the mistakes I've made up until this point. I'm unsatisfied with how my life has turned out, the choices I made for my betterment mostly backfired.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this in the entire forum, maybe I think that if I get it off my chest I'll feel better, but I don't feel any better for typing it.
It's not like I'm feeling suicidal or anything, I'm just lost. I have a huge desire to sell everything I own and move to California or something.
ahh well, maybe I should go see a doctor.
Part of me thinks that if I can say that, then its probably something else, or maybe you can see it in yourself? I would think its one of those things you aren't really aware of.
Either way, I'm tired most of the time, sad most of the time, pissed off all the time, I have little motivation to do anything, work, play, sitting and watching a tv program seems to be a chore for me lately.
I'm short tempered with almost everyone around me, I'm spending a good portion of my day thinking about all the mistakes I've made up until this point. I'm unsatisfied with how my life has turned out, the choices I made for my betterment mostly backfired.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this in the entire forum, maybe I think that if I get it off my chest I'll feel better, but I don't feel any better for typing it.
It's not like I'm feeling suicidal or anything, I'm just lost. I have a huge desire to sell everything I own and move to California or something.
ahh well, maybe I should go see a doctor.
Seasonal Affective Disorder. Basically its the lack of sunlight what screws with your clock. Look into a artificial light or take some St Johns Wort for SAD.....
What i did was take St. Johns Wort, my doctor reccomended it for mild depression....you can get it at Shoppers Drug mart.
I took this as he prescribed last winter and am now taking it this winter. I tell you 3 times a day and it helps alot.....I am more alert, not as tired, not as cranky, not soo tired and have good energy......Good luck Mikey, ive added some links you can read into. The SAD link is where i learned about my problem.
http://www.sada.org.uk/
http://nccam.nih.gov/health/stjohnswort/
01-12-2006, 02:10 PM
#26
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I can't tell you how many people have mentioned how down they are lately, and I've been there.
If this is more recent I'm guessing that it may have to do with our limited sunlight in the last two months. Our weather has been so horrendous that we've almost had no sunlight in two months.
Normally I find myself in a bit of a down this time of year as I work alone in my home office, and frankly I get a bit of cabin fever. This year has been easy for me, compared to the past, because I went to Cuba in December and I'm off to Belize in two weeks (actually I'm there on business and fun). I feel so refreshed after coming back from the tropics it is unbelievable.
I'm not saying this will cure you of your problem, but it might give you a more positive perspective on things.
I used to get so depressed in the winter it was pretty awful.
I find a few things that really help me out:
1) keep up some regular exercise
2) eat healthy
3) get sun whenever possible
4) keep busy, help a charity, keep setting goals
It's hard to realize how lucky we all are.
If this is more recent I'm guessing that it may have to do with our limited sunlight in the last two months. Our weather has been so horrendous that we've almost had no sunlight in two months.
Normally I find myself in a bit of a down this time of year as I work alone in my home office, and frankly I get a bit of cabin fever. This year has been easy for me, compared to the past, because I went to Cuba in December and I'm off to Belize in two weeks (actually I'm there on business and fun). I feel so refreshed after coming back from the tropics it is unbelievable.
I'm not saying this will cure you of your problem, but it might give you a more positive perspective on things.
I used to get so depressed in the winter it was pretty awful.
I find a few things that really help me out:
1) keep up some regular exercise
2) eat healthy
3) get sun whenever possible
4) keep busy, help a charity, keep setting goals
It's hard to realize how lucky we all are.
01-12-2006, 02:14 PM
#27
Registered User
Originally Posted by BioBanker,Jan 12 2006, 04:36 PM
Dont listen to Simon when he says that hookers are the answer because it worked for him.
I feel for ya and completely understand. I would seek a counsellor , then assess them and see if they are working for you, if not get another one.
Not all professionals make a good fit. Why I suggest that, is that you already have an outlet in playing hockey, so if that's not working I think we need to go a little higher. You'd be surprised at the wonders they can do. These people know their shit..
I'd like to endorse what many have said as well.
Take our advice except Vince's and take one day at a time.
Call me at work if you need me.. no problems at all 416-719-4369
or after 5:00pm at 416-704-0070
01-12-2006, 02:50 PM
#30
It is documented that people do suffer from SAD disease, Seasonal Affective Disorder. My dad bought my mom one of these http://www.litebook.com/?s=gaw&kw=litebook you likely know about these types of lights, but possibly it may work. I have used it, and if you can be dedicated to using it, at home while reading the paper, or at your desk while working I think there is a noticeable difference.