Jasonoff

Hehhee.. it was only a 1 year contract tho. Takes more effort to stay longer than that.

BioBanker

I think you would be surprised how many people feel the same as you do. It does not trivialize how you feel or make it any less serious, but I bet that the % of ppl who could say the same as you have said is shockingly high.

Id talk to your doctor. There is no downside to doing so and you will probably benefit.

Mannn

i think we need to party
hang in there mike.. you are not alone!

BeachBum

I know the feeling... few years back i think i went through the same funk... I'd describe it more like wide spread apathathy rather than what I'd imagine to be depression. I spoke to a professional about it, really hoping for some bottled "pick me ups" but that didn't happen.

I ended up doing the retool/career change thing... got into something that was super high pressure, and team oriented so I had no time to shrug off shit and just focused on one thing... at the time, work. (you know, its like city slickers where Crystal asks whats the key to a happy life, and Palance holds up one finger)

I think when you have one thing to be passionate about, the other shit just works itself out.... well.. maybe not if your passionate about heroine or something, but evenso, i'm sure you'd feel better either way. kidding.

In the mean time, pull out the car, drop the roof, and go for a spin.... and wear a touque eh?

BioBanker

Dont listen to Simon when he says that hookers are the answer because it worked for him.

PLYRS 3

sorry dude, i had more to say but had to take a call.....

but marco, dave and ron have summed it up....you need to focus on one thing that you accel at or CAN accel at.

you also need to stop comparing your station in life at this point with others' (i know, it's hard not to) - unless you can use it motivate yourself.....i look at others that may be "ahead" of me and it motivates me to get my shit together....don't be "jealous" about it, strive for it.

partying, geting banged, snorting coke, doing lines - it's all temporary....you need a big picture fix....a master reset.

BioBanker

speaking of big picture fix, did you get a TV Nimesh?

BlackieZ

I went through some major depression not too long ago, I know what you're talking about. You can go to the doc and ask them to refer you to a specialist to talk with (psycho bable guy), but unless you have a chemical imbalance and actually need to be on drugs, don't do it, it sucks, at least I hated it. It gives you the illusion that this will be an easy way out and I think to a degree that hampers your will to get better on your own and fight. Talking to others definetly helps (hence the psycho bable guy). Getting things out in words makes you think and to a degree analyze yourself. You can talk to a professional or a good friend. What matters is that the person is a good listener and knows how to guide the discussion. You could even write your thoughts on paper (journal, printer scraps, whatever). Again, the process of getting your feelings into words works pretty good for identyfing the problems.

Chances are, it's something that has bothered you on some level for a long time and it's just been eating away bit by bit. It could be a bunch of little things, it could be one or two big things. If it's in your head, relocating will not make things go away. It gives a nice sense of illusion of getting away from things but things usually are a bit more complicated then that.

You need to figure out what exactly bothers you about your life and then fix that, change, make things better. That's pretty much what worked for me. Come up with a "list" of what you don't like about your life and why, where would you rather be, what would you rather do, what have you done in the past you wish you could undo, what didn't you do you wish you had done, etc. Then little bit by little bit, chip away at it. Break it all down into little baby steps, that way things won't feel overwhelming and hopeless. It's easier to accomplish 10 little goals then 1 big one. Plus you'll be more motivated to succeed if you feel the task is more attainable.

Bottom line is you have to try very hard to stay positive. When things go bad, know that they will get better. If you sit in a corner and cry feeling sorry for yourself, even if things are very bad, nothing will change. You have to take the initiative to help yourself and want to get better. It gets easier once you start seeing changes and begin to feel better.

mikamaya

Mike, I understand how you feel. As an M.D. and a friend, I'd like to sit down and talk to you about whatever is on your mind. I am available tonight after 8:30pm and tomorrow, same time. I'm sending you a PM as well.

Mindcore

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your help and encouragment. I'm far from mentally unstable, just frustrated. You know?