DoGMaN

I'll preface that this is offensive to those who have / had / will have challenged family members.

Now I'll admit I secretly like the goofy bastards (not my words thats from something about mary)

Anyhow, the names and location have been altered to protect the innocent, in this case it was actually me.

Picture it, me walking in a nice grocery store minding my own damn beeswax.

I'm walking around to buy some bottled water and oompaloompa walked up to me, she was 4 foot nothing, tard as all ****ing hell and had bandaid on her face. She had a giant care bear looking ****ing thing in her hand, it was nearly as big as her. Anyhow she comes up and starts asking me how I am and what I'm looking for, I was real nice too cause I figured her handler was watching me or something to make sure I just didn't belt her for being alive. I said ohhh how nice, and I'm looking for water.

She said, I don't know what to do, is this bear me...IS IT ME?? haha I said its nice you should buy it.

Its $9 mr, $9

I said oh well good luck with that.

She keeps following me, I'm getting nervous cause someone should come and put her leash on by now, ahem hello.

No one comes to rescue me, all this time I'm walking to the clerk thinking this is God coming after me for everything I ever did...I'm ****ed I own this tard now.

Got to the counter, put my water on the thing and the clerk starts ringing in and the tard puts the bear on the belt.

I put the stick between it and my shit

I cash out, and she FREAKS

She actually wailed on me for not buying it.. I'm like AHHHHHHHHHHH what the ****!!! I thought about trying to tame her tard strength with my own but no ****ing way. Where I was and where I work would have made the papers and looked like "Name employee gets ass kicked by enraged oompaloompa"

Finally tardwrangler appears and looks at me like I tried to make this person calculate pie or something. I bailed that shit and got outa there.

If someone has a camera crew and would like to follow me around I'd really appreciate it.

Again, sorry to everyone...I consider this Mikes fault for making me display this.

Mindcore

Dude, share and share alike I say..

Seriously, and I mean seriously... you, me and a video camera. If not for public consumption, at least to capture these moments in time.

For the most part my life is pretty boring, but for at least a half hour a day its a freakin miracle. Others should not be denied

DoGMaN

I wish I had a half an hour, I'm lucky to get a burst of brilliance once a month. However when it does happen it not only hurts me it hurts others.

I guess thats what makes it all worth it

mikamaya

great read
it's pi, not pie (?Freudian)

DoGMaN

Finally someone gets me..and yes...yes it was

Consider the posibility of asking someone of her capacity to recite Pi..but she'd thing PIE.

What a nightmare for everyone involved.

Mindcore

It's Vince, ofcourse he's going to spell it Pie..

Geez man, where you been?

xviper

How do you get into shit like this all the time? Last one was the perfume in the dept. store. Have you checked your forehead lately? Maybe you got a target tatooed there. Next time I'm out that way, I just gotta follow you around for a day.

s2ksimon

you were so due for another encounter.. another classic !

had a v8 lately ?

I've got Mannn and the crew ready. Just need Mike to commit and we'll be good to go

wing

Oh man too funny, then looking at your avatar makes it a classic!

THEOLDMAN

[QUOTE=xviper,Jan 25 2006, 01:33 AM] How do you get into shit like this all the time?