valentine

Whenever there is more than one beneficiary of an estate it is my humble opinion that a good attorney is worth his/her weight in gold. All bickering/questions/arguments can be soundly resolved with a "call the lawyer".

Lainey

with , Val, But sometimes it's the small stuff that starts the squabbles. Most folks don't list all their possessions, and then you hear, "but I wanted that table, you took the chair" kind of argument.

We've run into this "up close and personal" and it's not pretty. The items may not even have monetary value. Perhaps they have some sentimental value to one family member, or maybe one person just can't "let go". It's never a pretty picture. In this case, the call was made to "come and get what you want", the person didn't show, next thing you know, he/she is yelling at someone about an item he/she was "supposed" to get.

valentine

I've told my husband repeatedly that should anything EVER happen to either of us the one who is left should immediately grab that will and go straight to the attorney's office. ANY questions of ANY kind will be directed to the attorney, I don't care if its even a stupid paper cup somebody's whining about. Not having to deal with the ridiculous greed that emerges upon the death of a loved one is worth it to me. [Besides that: he gets anything I have and I get anything that he has. If we both die, we've appointed an attorney to pass out the remainder to the kids right down to the last spoon, fork and paper cup]

MsPerky

Well, I'm getting closer to wrapping up Auntie's estate. I could not have done it without my accountant. Lots of IRS/tax-related stuff I would not have known about.

MsPerky

from 2007. I am now executing both my mother's and dad's estates, following the death of my mother. My dad owned half of the house (sold in Apr), so could not close his out until now, even though he died in 2011. So...I'm doing two sets of everything. This time around, my estate attorney, accountant, and investment adviser are involved. It's fairly complicated, but going well, and I expect to be wrapped up with the majority of the work before the end of the year, notwithstanding some carryover into next year for 2015 tax preparation, final distribution, etc. The +1 reminded me that I have been the responsible party/caregiver for someone (Aunt, Dad, Mother) for almost 20 years. It will take some getting used to being pretty much responsible only for myself once this process is done. Up to now, I've not taken executor fees (for my aunt and some work for my dad), but this time I am, using a formula from my bank's trust dept. Anyone else been executing lately?

fltsfshr

MsP I hope it goes smoothly.

We're still going through one. There was a big relative fight and since then it's been in the courts.

Recently the Supreme Court of Minnesota ruled in our favor after a 5 year long, lengthy and expensive journey through the court system. We're now waiting another few months for one last court date and then a disbursement.

Between taxes, legal fees and associated costs, a large chunk of the estate went poof.

I could go on. rant rant. I'm just glad it's almost over.

fltsfshr

boltonblue

Thankfully my wife's brother was executor for her parent's estate so she didn't have to deal with it.
There are five siblings and given my, shall we say, rather direct form of communication, I've done my best to stay out of it.
I will technically be executor for my mother's "estate" but since she has basically nothing, that should be easy.

S2KRAY

I am an only child. My Dad died in 1977 and my Mom in in 2008. I got nothing but the satisfaction of using all of my Mom's money to care for her for 31 years along with her SS. Dad had no pension. She was in a wonderful Althimers facility until her death and looking back I feel that was more satisfying to me than any inheritance. My wife's parents left equal assets to my wife and her brother. No issues. We have wills leaving all to our 2 children in equal amounts. I know how ugly these issues can get so we feel very comfortable that we do not have to deal with them.

MsPerky

Thanks. That is really a shame. So much wasted negative energy. I'm sending out indemnification letters (standard protection for executors) to most beneficiaries today, so we'll see what happens as we go along. I've pretty much kept them apprised of what is coming, so no surprises, I hope.

Morris

I work with my clients and attorneys when they have estates to manage. Have some stories but takes too long to hunt and peck. Rob probably does also.
For all of you with kids, you should list your assets, I mean the small stuff, or put a piece of tape on the bottom of each pottery, picture or plate, with the name of the individual who gets it. More fights, in my experience, have been over a candy dish, a couch, or chair than anything else. Those are the items that are hard to divide up.
On a personal note, when my Grandpa died all I wanted was a set of brass bells he had hanging in his house for as long as I could remember. Well, guess what, two cousins wanted them too. The set was broken and I got two of them. That was fine with me, two can trigger my memories as well as six. I was lucky to get them.