Matt_in_VA

Jerry, Kathy and family,

Please accept our condolences on your loss. May the fond memories that you have live on with you for all the days of your lives and keep her close to you.

Matt & Barbara

Matt_in_VA

Dex,

I am also sorry to learn about your friend. This hits home with me as I lost a good friend at the age of forty-six to breast cancer in 2003. My thoughts are with her and her family.

Matt

Dex9

Thanks Matt / Darlene for the kind words.

Any suggestions on how to encourage a friend beyond the helping out w/ the kids, house, etc? Last time around it was w/ my aunt in CA, my friend R and her family are now 1hr north of the City.

I'm reminded again among other things; the existential theme of 'Bladerunner': what is life, and a life span? Who knows how much time any of us really have?

Live gratefully, and fully.

wil687

I

vmoul

I had a scare about 2 years ago....not that invloved, but, needed to have some tissue removed...if it wasnt removed it would have progressed and have been serious.

Anyway....I was really scared, mind you I am not yet 40.

I thought about my life and how I lived it. I made peace with myself and......tried to live good while waiting to get the results back...

It was really scary.

If I was to find out something like that again I would still be scared but I would be ok with it and not afraid to die.

I would also try to live the rest of my life what was left as best I could and enjoy as much as possible. I dont think I would spend my last days getting chemo and stuff especially if I knew it was through my body and not operable.

At least that is how I feel right now

I am sorry I didnt look at the date on the post assumed it was new...

Tachus

This was the first time I have come across this thread as well. In the last year I have had two friends diagnosed with cancer. One has bone and lung cancer, following breast cancer five years ago. The other has stage 2 bowel cancer. For me I had to decide how much of my heart I would risk by investing in their lives more. I hate to admit to this but I did give it consideration - I'm in up to my neck. Both have commented on people dropping out of their lives. Having just been through some health issues myself it is so valuable, such an encourgement, to hear from friends. May encourage each one of you, as you have this happen to friends and relatives, to give more of yourselves not less.

Lainey

^
Nice post. I lost a friend a few years ago to Crohn's disease. He had been ill with it since he was a teenager.

He had many hospitalizations in his last year. He had been dating a very nice woman, and he thought it best to shut her out. He had not called her as he did not want to burden her with his illness, as she had experienced the loss of loved ones not so long before.

I told him (as a woman and a friend) that he should leave the decision as to if she wanted to continue to be involved with him, up to her. She was a doctor, she knew the score, and she could make up her own mind.

After hedging a bit, he finally called her and told her he was very sick, but wanted her to know. She was there for him until he died a short time later.

I met her at his memorial service. She thanked me for encouraging him to call her.

paS2K

As both my +1 and my dtr deal with folks in aging or end-of-life issues, I can say that this is a really important suggestion. The afflicted person....as well as their caregivers....really appreciate all the support that they can get. It's a tough time.

Yesterday at our spring community picnic, one of our neighbors attended in a wheelchair. He is about 60 and was formerly a 'pillar of the community'....very active in our group of homes, former volunteer fireman and school teacher (also proud owner of a restored '53 Ford Tudor V8 w/mods). Now he's experiencing a lot of pain...with advanced bone cancer spreading quickly. It was nice to see him....very probably for the last time.

Unfortunately, these folks very recently moved from their tight community of over 30 years....to an anonymous larger 'suburban sprawl' house about 15 miles away. They wanted one-floor living but gave up a community of 30 neighbors who could have helped them..... Something to think about as we vintage age.....

spt-s2k

As some of you already know, my sister has stage 4 cancer. We found out about a year ago, and the doctors said that she had 6 months if she didn't get treatment. After seeing what the treatment did to our mother, she decided not to take any more. She has been living with us now since the first of the year.
When she moved in I didn't think that she would last much longer, but now that she is no longer alone she seems to have perked up some. Sure we have good & bad days, but the secret is to take advantage of the good ones.
So, on the good days we do as much as possible to keep her active. Even had her in the S a couple of times as she loves sports cars (Owned an 03 Miata till she couldn't drive anymore). Last year she helped me plan the FC 05 drive, and enjoyed all the work putting it together with me.
Today is one of her bad days, so she won't be going out to dinner to celebrate Mother's day .
I'm gonna really miss her when she is gone!

Tachus

Thank you for taking your sister in. Thank you for giving her a reason to continue to live. Enjoy every minute of her as you and she are able.