rjosey8385

Absolutely I'd seek out every treatment (reasonable treatment, that is) as well as enjoy every moment I could. I have too much fun with life just to sit back and let it slip away without trying to hang on. To quote Victor Hugo, "It is nothing to die...it is frightful not to live".

Crisis

I'm new to the board, but I experienced this situation. In June '02 my wife (45 years old) was diagnosed with cancer and told she had 9 months more or less. She was in perfect health and condition, ran every day, never smoked, so we figured she probably had a year or more. At least we figured more than the average 9 months the Dr. gave us. She died on Dec. 19 of that year, 6 months after diagnosis.
After the diagnosis we took a vacation, she had some friends over, she worked until September. Every time we hoped for a little improvement so we could do things, she got worse. When actually faced with it, it all happens too fast. We always thought we had more time. Before you know it, you're too sick to do anything but stay home and try to deal with it. I regret not having done and said more early on, while her health was still OK. You feel like if you say your goodbyes early it's like giving up, but before you know it, it's too late. The last month or so she was in a fog most of the time so the chance for real conversation had passed before we knew it.
My advice, do as much as you can as soon as you can. Don't give up, but prepare for the worst. I'm 50 now and i guess I'll never get over the loss, but you learn to deal with it and life goes on.
Good luck. Do all you can, comfortably, and have no regrets.

OhioRacer

Crisis,

First of all, welcome to the forum. Secondly, please accept our condolences from the Vintage gang of s2ki. Hang around. You'll make a lot of new friends here.

rjosey8385

I'm sorry.

My Mom is getting ready to start a study chemo drug for liver/bile duct cancer at the beginning of next month; otherwise, we have about 4-8 months left with her. We're hopeful, but my Dad is recording her voice and taking pictures of her like a madman.

MsPerky

^ Yes, Crisis, welcome! Glad you felt comfortable enough here to post. Keep it up...

Josey - I think your dad is doing the right thing, regardless of how long you have with your mom. I hope the treatments buy her some more time. Good luck...

I didn't say this in my earlier post, but I, too, would seek out any reasonable treatment to prolong my life. But would not want to be a burden to my loved ones. There is a fine line between that and letting them help and be involved.

Crisis

"My Mom is getting ready to start a study chemo drug"

My wife did this also, and it helped for a while. After a month or so the chemo made her so sick it was worse than the disease, but it worked for a bit. However, she ALWAYS had bad reactions to drugs, even over the counter stuff. We were not surprised that she did not tolerate the chemo well. I would definitely recommend the course your mom is on, and I think your dad is doing the right thing too. Do all you can now, no regrets later.

Thanks all, for the welcome. I'll check in as often as I can.

rjosey8385

Charlie - I'm really sorry about your aunt. Does she live near you or will you be able to visit her some throughout the year? I know in so many cases where someone even remotely close to me has died, I've felt so guilty afterwards about the things I should have done before they died. How about you...what will you do differently now that she's dying?

charlie

My Aunt moved from NJ to Ft Lauderdale 30 years ago. I started visiting her when I was 8 in Fla, every summer I would go for two weeks to see her and my cousin. We stay in contact via email, phone, and every year she visits us here in NJ in the spring (stays with my dad her brother) and my wife adn I make a trip down in the fall or January. We plan on doing the same perhaps visiting her sooner. She had planned on coming in the spring but we shall see how her health is.

ralper

Crisis

I'm sorry that I'm coming to this thread so late. Your story is very touching. As Carmen has said, please accept the condolences of the Vintage forum.

Also know that when you are in Vintage, you are among friends. Come here often and share your thoughts. Welcome to our corner of the world.

ralper

Charlie,

Your story is very sad. It is always sad when someone receives the sentence of cancer regardless of age, but it is especially sad when it is at a young age.

Liz's mother learned that she had liver cancer at the age of 57. For a year and a half the doctors thought it was an infection, but somehow it didn't seem to get better. They learned is was cancer and she died within 3 months. At 57 she too was too young.

You, Michelle and Christian should visit with her. Especially Christian. You'd be amazed at the joy seeing family brings to someone. Before he died last September, my father's eyes would light up when he'd see my kids or my sister's kids. Go visit.