charlie

A very close Aunt of mine was diagnosed with cancer last year. She had surgery, chemo radiation etc and it was assumed it was gone. fast forward to recently she has been having problems and went in for surgery again. The Docs came out and said it came back(never left IMO) and she has about 1 year to live.

It is very sad she is 57. I can't imagine what she is going thru the thoughts that go thru ones mind, her concern for family, friends granchildren she will never see get maried, it's terrible.

What would you do givin this news at such a young age? Do you fight and seek out every new age treatment or accept your hand in life and enjoy every moment you can?

Kyras

I don't know what I would do. I think I would have to face that decision before I could say.

Saturday we are going to the funeral of Ed, who was 44. He was a favorite employee of my husband, and he died after fighting cancer for over a year. He was the hero in his family, who stepped in and took care of his family when his father deserted them. When he finally went to the Dr. for a horrible cough that kept him from sleeping, he found out his lung cancer was too involved to operate on. He did chemo and even went back to work for a few months. He was getting sicker again and weak but all he wanted to do was finish the job (electrician) he was on. He did nice work and was proud of the job.

78roadrocket

I would definitely live a special last year, but only if I knew for sure. No matter how high the odds are stacked agaisnt you, there's always the chance to overcome. If I knew for sure however, there are some people that I'd need to tell things, some places I'd want to go, and some thing's I'd need to do (all of which I hope to accomplish before I die anyway).

-Kryas, your story is heart-breaking, and further proof that bad things happen to good people all too often.

-Doug

ralper

I think the first thing I would do would be to put all of my affairs in order. Make sure my will was the way I wanted it to be, make sure those I expected to survive know where everything is, and make sure that all of my obligations were met.

After that, I don't know what I would do. Sadly, we know how to die, but we don't know how to live.

Patty, your story of Ed is very touching. I understand why he had to finish the job. He had to finish it before he died, so that he knew he accomplished his goal on that job. At that point he wasn't working for the money, he was working for something more important. He was working for his satisfaction.

dean

I'm truly sorry to hear this, Charlie.

As for your question, I can recommend a very good book that deals with the question of alternative medicine: "Snake Oil and Other Preoccupations: Because Cowards Get Cancer Too" by Jim Diamond. It's about the author's observations and experiences as a terminal cancer patient that he wrote shortly before he died.

I would get all of my affairs in order, then enjoy what time I had left.

Kyras

Doug, glad to learn your name. I go by Kyras, the name of a loved german shepherd we had, but my name is Patty. :shakes hand: I don't want to take over this thread so I'm going to try to PM you my note to Ed's wife, about how I view his life.

mikegarrison

Ikiru

jmc1971

My sympathy and prayers to your Aunt and her family, Charlie. Very sad.

I've had the opportunity to know (too) many people with very limited time left--it's the hardest part of my job. I'm working with a man now who has 2-8 weeks left. I've seen some extraordinary people show tremendous grace, courage and peace in the bleakest times. I hope I would do the same if I were terminally ill.

I believe I would pursue any promising medical treatment. I don't think I would seek new age or alternative medicine treatment, but can't say that for sure. I certainly don't want to die anytime soon, but it's not something I'm afraid of.

I do know that I would not leave my estate in a mess that my survivors would have to deal with. Getting my affairs in order would be my top priority. And I would find a good home for my cats. After that, just enjoy life. My family and friends already know they're well and truly loved, but I'd tell 'em again. If circumstances allowed, I'd take a last, great trip.

P.S. I'd make sure they played "I'll Fly Away" at my funeral.

tomcatt

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Matt_in_VA

Charlie,

I am sorry to learn this. You and (especially) your Aunt will be in my thoughts.

I think that it is interesting how most of us are in denial that we are all going to die.

As for me, assuming that I was able and had exhausted all the treatment options and opinions of "people that practice medicine" (not sure if any of them really know what they are doing?) Assuming that I was well enough to travel I would hit the road while I could and see everything that I could while I could. It is easy for me to say sitting here while "healthy" ( I hope) but I would also try to do some stuff like bungi jumping, or big wave surfing, etc because as an "adrenaline junkie" it makes one feel very alive.

I got a reminder of our fragile mortality earlier today. One of our engineers in CA has been on vacation for the last several weeks (since New Years) at his property on the Big Island (Hawaii). He and his wife bought a property there several years ago and where looking forward to retiring there in a few years (I think that he is in his early sixties). Two days ago his wife found him unconscious, he was then flown to Honolulu for brain surgery on an aneurism in his brain. He survived the surgery, but is still in a coma. The next twenty-four hours will be critical in seeing if he will recover.

With that stated: If you are faced with a year or less to live, does it change your perspective of every minute that one has left? As opposed to being "blind sighted" by an aneurism that snuck up on you? I must say that is one of the lessons that road racing motorcycles for a few years taught me. Having had a few friends that died doing what they loved to do. It taught me to enjoy the little things in life. Like waking up and taking what could very well be the last shower of your life. Or eating your last breakfast. Some how it makes you stop and smell the coffee.

Charlie, I certainly hope that Aunt can enjoy her time that she has left. I also hope that she does not suffer.