Dex9

Well all,

Been thinking alot about reaching in and expressing some latent inner voice that hasn't found expression just yet. thought it would be interesting a la New Yorker back page cartoon to start a Short and let everyone add to it. Some pluses and protocal:

- A meaningful way of sharing our collective experiences
- Ability to express creative writing skills in a public but not intimidating environment
- All can participate
- Fun!

Guidelines:
1 - Stay w/ the character development and make the story 'believable'
2 - Stay in genre / time / place (no sci fi alien abductions or time travel necessarily)
3 - Good taste and self-censoring, nothing vulgar or offensive w/o being PC
4 - Post and call 'next' so flow is sequential. Post within 2hrs so it won't drag
5 - Original poster gets to close whenever he/she feels it's time.

All persons and events are fictional and any resemblane to persons living or not are coincidental etc....

If there's enough interest I'll post the first one.

The Raptor

This by Lord Buckley, a 50s stand up comedian some of you may know, who specialized in monologues with religious and historical themes. Lord Buckley was revered by the jazz community at the time and played at places like Reno. He came up with expressions like "far out" and What's going down?" many years, decades, before they became popular. I love this story:

My lords and ladies of the royal court, the religious fantasy of Jonah and the Whale. Now the Great Lord was rockin in his rosy red rockin chair one hallelujah mornin when he looked down upon a great body of water and he spied a little mortal. The little mortal was about five foot two and his name was Jonah. Jonah was gettin his kicks on the beach on the beach, jumpin and jivin and singin in the sunshine and the melody so fine. Now when the Great Lord has something he wants to have done upon the earth he calls upon one of his favorite chillin. So the Lord called Gabe and Gabe swung with the Book and the Lord put the sound on Jonah. And the Lord say "I, dig you, Jonah. I dig you, Jonah. I dig you, Jonah cuz Jonah is the Lord's sweet boy. And Jonah say "Man, what is that sound goin down. Sounds like 76 jazz bands jumpin off. Makes me want to jiggle and wiggle. Lift my head up and say oooooheeeee, Good Mornin Lord." The Lord say "Good mornin, Jonah. I got a little favor to ask you." And Jonah say "ain't that wild, ain't that crazy? Not but six million cats for the Lord to put his finger on and he choose Jonah. Aint that gone, ain't that groovy?"

And the Lord say "Jonah, I want you to cross the Red Sea and take a message to the Israelites, dey squarin up over there." Jonah say "You don't mean this big pool, do ya, Lord? PhhhBoom. You must mean some little Jonah-sized pool. PhhBoom" The Lord say "Put your nose into the wind and the message will come to you." So Jonah puts his great nose into the north wind -- it was not there. He puts his nose into the south wind -- it wass not there. He puts his nose into the east wind -- it was not there. But, he puts his nose into the hallelujah west wind -- it was there! So he traveled for three days and 15 seconds until he came to a great group of cathedral-like trees liftin their heads up in suffocation to the Master. And down at the bottom of these Giant Sequoias Jonah spied growin a strange green vine. And Jonah say "Just like Brigham Young, this is it." So he sat down beside it and admired of it and he selected from it and he swung of it and he say "Look out, here come Jonah and he ready as the day is long." Boom, cutting a breast like a bee through the wave. He swam for six hours and 11 seconds until, suddenly, fatigue overcame Jonah. He was floating on his back, goofin in his eyebrows, and he went to sleep. He slept for seven hours and 42 seconds.

When he woke, what did he see? I'll tell you what he say, he say the Whale. What did he say when he saw the Whale? "Git me from this scene immediately." And the Whale say "Every time I stick my nose up from this pool I sure see some crazy jazz, but this here is the bendin end." Jonah say "Whatchu mean the bendin end, Mr. Whale." The Whale say "Lookit dat, it talk, too." Jonah say "Course I talk, Mr. Whale. Don't you dig the the marine news? Ain't you hip to what's goin down round dese waters?" The whale say "Take it easy." Jonah say "Ain't no takin it easy, Mr. Whale. It's a big pool. You groove your way, I'll groove my way. I'll swoop da scene and dig you later." The whale say "heh, heh, heh, lookit dat. Little bit a nuthin, two million miles from nowhere, tryin to hep me, the King of the Dip, what the lick is. I gotta good mind to gobble you up. Jonah say "Don't you do dat mr. Whale, cuz if you do I'll knock you in your most delicate gear."

The Whale say "That do it." And Hrrrmmpphhh, he swallow Jonah. Here's Jonah inside this great sea mammal, huffin and puffin, wearin and tearin, slippin and slidin. He couldn't go out the front end and he fraid to go out the back end. He gits down to the bottom of these great blubbery rugs, he looks up at dis huge, dark canyon, and he lets out this loud pitious wail "Lord, Lord, can you dig me in dis here fish?" And the Lord say "I got you covered, Jonah." And Jonah say "Man dat cat's got such a sense olf humor, maybe dat's why I dig da cat so much. Tellin me he's got me covered, he's got me suuuuurounded." The Lord say "Jonah, reach in yer wallet-tight pocket and git some of the cigarettes ya got from the great tree and courage will returb to you.

So he did. Here's Jonah inside this great sea mammal, smokin dis strange cigarette, watchin the pistons pound and go poom! Watchin the great valves expandin and eeeeeexpaaaandin. Suddenly' the Whale say "Jonah." And Jonah say (long inhaling sound} "What is it fish?" And the Whale say "What is it fish?" And Jonah say "Yeah, what is it fish!" You got a new captain in dis here mass mess. I'm not outside no more, I'm inside now. The Whale say "What is you smokin in dere?" And Jonah say "Never you mind what I'm smokin in here, I'm the new captain in dis here mass mess, as I done splained to you before.

The Whale say "Quit stompin all over the engine room. Why don't you sit down and cool yerself a spell. You gettin da ride fer free. Jonah say "I'll stomp all over this engine room long as I want What is this here wheel?" The Whale say "Don't mess wit dat, dat's my darlin wheel." Jonah say "I'll mess with dat wheel as long as I want What is dis here lever?" The Whale say "Jonah, boy, that's my full speed ahead lever." Jonah say cool." The whale say it ain't cool, we in da shallow water." Jonah say "Dat's all I want to know." And FaaBoom, he pushed the giant sneezemeter and faabaam, blew him out on the cool, groovy sands of serenity.

Which just goes to show what Confucius say many, many years ago: "Hung ping tsao ping tsao." Which translated, briefly means: "If you get to it and you cannot do it then there you jolly well are.....aren't you?"

Dex9

Uhhhh....not exactly what I had in mind...

Perhaps I'll post anyway as a teaser.

valentine

I'll bite: Here's a little old one I did years ago:


My husband had begun working in Charleston, West Virginia, two hundred miles from our home in Virginia and it had been weeks since he had been home. It was mid-winter and the night came early. My small daughter, Janet, and I packed our car, an Oldsmobile Toronado with a built-in CB radio, and headed for Charleston, West Virginia, so Janet could see daddy for the weekend. Just outside of Roanoke, Virginia, we headed into a light snowfall. Except for tractor-trailer after tractor-trailer, there was little traffic on Interstate 81. Janet had gone to sleep and as the night wore on I became bored or maybe a little lonely and flipped the switch on the radio to CB. For a long time I listened to the truckers laughing and talking about everything and nothing. I chuckled as I heard one of them tell his buddy about a really amazing waitress at a truckstop outside Detroit. Finally, as the snowfall escalated into a huge white blanket swirling around my car, I picked up the microphone and in a wavering voice, asked

Dex9

Valentine:
Sorry for the tardy reply, I'm off-line except for the office at this time.

Great reflection, I can visualize the snow and imagine the ramblings in the days before the semi-anonymous nature of the net.

Poignant also that a love has passed, but I know also the wonderful man now in your life has been a blessing.

valentine

I wrote that back in the 80s. It is largely fiction. It's been published a couple of times, so I just pulled it out for this thread. (I do not have a daughter named Janet or know a t/driver from Atlanta).

Dex9

Best stories read believably real!

valentine

I needed to write a story for cb radios wayyyy back when they were a big deal. This was a nice little human interest story that borrowed from reality and pointed out the value of what was then a "big deal". Cell phones, better radios, etc. have killed off the built-in radios. As I recall, it was mayyyybe around 1980 or before that a lot of cars were offering the built-in cb that doubled with a regular automobile radio in some of the more upscale vehicle offerings. All I know is that the story was on one of those big 5-1/4 inch disks and I saved it over to a 3-1/2 inch diskette along with a bunch of stuff that unfortunately was not published . This particular story hit a vein in that it offered a random act of kindess by a stranger and crossed over to a couple of mags that needed some filler. I was lucky in that the first publisher only asked for rights for 2 yrs and then later another publication picked it up a year or so ago. I've gotten several inquiries about other stories and they're holding the rights so I can't do anything with them until they decide whether to publish or not. I don't do a lot of stories presently, but perhaps when time weighs heavily on my hands will hit the keyboard again. I've got an ongoing project that keeps getting tossed back and forth that gobbles up some of my writing time, but its a niche-type thing and probably won't do anything until the 50s-60s religious movement becomes more interesting to younger folks. It is also research-intensive, so it takes a lot of time for a little bit of print and so on. I expect that it may take off within the next few years and may help with the grandkids' education. One does not become extremely wealthy writing short stories, nor does one become extremely wealthy writing short pieces for religious/conservative Christian publications. It is very fulfilling though.

Dex9

Sounds like a great experience, you're fortunate to have been published. Writing in a 'vacumn' is very different; the intent of this thread was to do more ad-lib...

50 / 60's, Azusa, Oral Roberts, and the rise of the tel-evangelists?
JPUSA in Chicago? Larry Norman? Quite a bit to mine. Another time.

Satisfaction is payback some could never buy. Don't quit your day job!