Honda 367

I understand what you are saying. I share your concern about what lies ahead. No one can see what will happen in the next 10-20 years and beyond. I am sure those people who are in the predicament they are in now ever thought they would be where they are. It is a gate we have to walk through as nothing is guaranteed such as our health and longevity of our loved ones. My hope is to live reasonably healthy with my wife as long as God has allotted us. As I get older, I think more on these things and at times makes me feel sad for the day when that ultimate separation takes place. I tell my wife that the last face I want to see as I am breathing out my last breath is to see her face that is if I go first.

zeroptzero

My father died from ALS, he had 2 years to live from diagnosis. His disease progressed fast. For most of the two years I helped care for him. My mother was around the home but she could not help to move him around as it is so hard dealing with people who have zero mobility. Handling the weight is very difficult on the back. I got him dressed every morning, I moved him around from chair to bed, put him on the toilet a few times per day, and put him to bed at night. Several of the personal support care workers that attended the house did nothing but rob from my parents. They stole his liquor, tools , and cash from the home. My father saw them stealing but he could do nothing to prevent it and he couldn't speak at that time, it must have tortured him. The care workers were caught and fired by the healthcare company but the damage was done and it just made the bad situation even worse.

Emil St-Hilaire

So sad...

noodels

And so wrong,
& God bless.

Matt_in_VA

It saddens me to read this thread. But as the saying goes: There are two things in life that are inevitable, death and taxes.

A long those lines: I (we) need to stop procrastinating about pre-paying and arranging our funeral expenses. As we do not have children and don't wish to burden others with what to do. As a Vietnam Era Veteran I (we) are eligible to go into the Columbarium at Arlington National Cemetery as I was awarded an Army Commendation Medal for my service. I don't want my Niece to flush my ashes down a toilet.

Kyras

I'm sure she wouldn't want you to clog her toilet.

MsPerky

It is ironic that while ALS was robbing your father of his ability to move and speak, he was being robbed literally by these people. The really sad thing about ALS is that the person does not usually have any cognitive decline so is aware without being able to do anything right to the end. A very cruel disease. I am so sorry all of you had to endure that.

zeroptzero

Thank you. You are so right on all points, and yes his brain was sharp right to the end, a very cruel disease, one of the worst ways to pass IMO.

He used a spelling board after he lost his speech. One day I went over to visit and he was spelling the word "whiskey" , I started to chuckle suggesting to him that he could not drink whiskey and it would not be a good idea to have a drink. The one care worker who was there then interjected and asked if my father had all of his cognitive functions, and I said yes of course he did. The care worker left and I never suspected anything. This was one day that I felt most stupid in my life, not connecting the message, I felt that I really let down my father that day, definitely a regret I carry with me. My mother then came home and when I told her the story she checked the liquor cabinet and it had been cleaned out. One other care worker took a large sum of cash they had hidden in the bedroom, and he cleaned out a bunch of my father's tools. This happened with one care worker after another, people entrusted to help you simply rummage through your home and rob you, very sad.

My mother was tough as nails. She got revenge by getting them to confess to everything. Both were fired and one was charged by the Police, and she got her missing money reimbursed to her. My mother once chased down a motorcycle gang leader who was renting a home from her and he had trashed the place. She had no fear, and it was one trait I really admired of her. The motorcycle gang leader is now in jail for arranging the murder of 10 gang associates a few years ago at a staged party, but he didn't intimidate my mother lol. She is still alive and she seen him go to jail after the murders as it was a major event in our region.

robb

I know it is easier said than done but you shouldn't feel guilty. I'm sure you had enough on your mind and it sounds like you did everything you could to help your Dad.

zeroptzero

^ Thanks Rob, I would like to think that I did everything I could to help at the time. It was physically exhausting and certainly mentally straining, but you do whatever is needed to help.