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Iris Chang, the 36 year old author of "The Rape of Nanking" died the other day of a self inflicted gun shot wound. She left behind a son, a husband, a mother and a father. She was in the midst of writing a book about American soldiers in the Tank Corp in the Pacific prior to the Japanese invasion, many of whom were captured and imprisoned by the Japanese. During the course of researching this book she fell into a deep depression which evidently led to her suicide.
Reading the N.Y. Times obituary made me wonder why a woman of such accomplishments would commit sucide. And then I started to wonder how a person, any person, could sink to the level of depression that would cause these actions.
I know that suicide is a very difficult issue, a very tough and sticky issue. It is not an issue that most people like to confront. Still, it might be a good topic for us to discuss. Our discussion might be very valuable in helping us to spot the signs in our children, our mates, our friends and our family. I think we can all benefit from this. This thread is not meant to open up any old wounds, but rather to prevent, hopefully, any future wounds.
As always, please, no flames, no name calling, no finger pointing, no nastiness. This is the Vintage forum, and we can all learn something.
What causes a person to commit suicide? What are the signs we should look for? How can we help someone?
A dear friend and co-worker of mine commited suicide about a year ago and I started thinking about the same things that you have brought up. I will admit to being in a depression which lasted for about 3 years and thoughts of suicide had come into my mind. Not pretty thoughts.
As to why... hopelessness, pain, despair, disgust, longing, fear; those are all some part of the feelings. At a certain point it seems like a reasonable option in a universe of very limited and equally bad options. No more pain. Maybe the loved ones would be better off without me. An end to the feelings of worthlessness. Everything would be better without me. Depression is insidious and can make every little problem seem like the Gordian Knot. The ability to function starts slipping and that makes everything seem that much worse. It is a horrible downward spiral that needs to be broken in order to get some help.
Warning signs? I don't know. I don't think that there is a "one size fits all" list but I can give you a partial based upon personal experience with myself and others who have seriously considered suicide.
Depression.
Talking about being worthless.
Talking about suicide.
Unexplained marks or cuts (some are self-destructive).
Lack of personal hygiene.
Confused, disconnected behavior.
Failing to meet obligations.
Performance at work or school diminishing.
Note: These are also signs of alcohol/drug abuse which are also leading causes of suicide.
A medical doctor or psychiatrist would be better able to answer.
My mother is bipolar manic depressive, and refuses to take the medication that will help control it. Not only that, she drinks, and my family refuses to try to help control her drinking and refuses to accept the seriousness of her condition. To cap it off, my wife and I are the only ones that have taken steps over the years to try to help, and when things have settled down after an episode we are the ones blamed by the rest of my family for the angst and problems.
We lost my father-in-law summer of 1999, quite unexpectedly. My family found out and despite my strong warning to not visit my mother-in-law (her wishes) they still came by that week. My mother broke down, my father broke down, and it was overall an unpleasant scene. We tried to keep things calm but she wanted to do what she wanted to do, and there was no stopping her.
A day later she attempted suicide, saying she should have been the one to die, not my father-in-law. She had been off her meds for some time, and was admitted again to a mental care center after she was stabilized. She continues to have this sort of behavior, and while she has not attempted suicide again, it would not surprise me if she did.
I don't have an answer as to why she tried to kill herself. Her head is so screwed up that when she's off her meds it's as if she is several people. When she's on her meds she isn't too bad; she's highly intelligent, but without the family support she keeps going downhill. This has been going on for 25 years, with a lot of water under the bridge...
I realize this isn't really the same situation as your example, Rob, but it's the only one I can directly relate to.
I too had read about Iris Chang. The article I read suggested she had problems in the past. She was passionate about the subjects she wrote about, but they were dark events. Surviviors of Nanking would come to her book signings and break down in front of her. Some thought she carried the weight of world with her.
I too read about Iris Chang -- beautiful and talented lady. Suicide is an individual thing and generally those who commit the act believe that no matter what they do, the pain of life outweighs the joy of life. My son in law at only 34 yrs old (3 years ago) took his life leaving behind his wife and three children. We do not know all the whys, etc. and still struggle with the if-onlies. It appears to me that most of those people I've known who attempt suicide are very sensitive, intelligent people who feel very "used up" by the world and think those left behind will be better off without them. Our world is a very complex placed and is filled with difficulties -- I've noticed that most of the time those people who are involved in the creative process, writers, artists, actors, musicians, etc. are very sensitive people who struggle with inner demons who threaten their inner being. It is difficult to "live up" to the expectations placed upon them by peers and family. Despite their intelligence, they often fall into the trap of self-medicating (drugs, alcohol, etc.) in the desire to escape the feelings of depression. I really don't think that depression is treated by physicians in an appropriate manner either. The answer isn't always found in a prozac bottle -- sometimes I think depressed people don't respond to meds because what they really need is "talk" therapy or analysis. I personally believe a good psychologist perhaps coupled with medication is the better route to go. Medical science has progressed so far in so many ways, but it isn't so easy to treat illness of the brain or personality disorders. The drugs currently available come along with side effects that are often worse than the illness itself.
my Dad is bi-polar, depression is a scary thing, and can lead to suicide if left untreated. I have witnessed families ignore depression and not seek out help only to wake up how obvious it was after a tragic event happens.
We are fortunate my father has only had 2 episodes in the last 40 years. The most recent was about 6 years ago when after 30 years of being on a med for his disease they had to switch him b/c the med caused liver damage. That was not a pleasant experience. The bottom line depression causes suicide, a chemical imbalance that unfortunately still has a stigma attached to it, which is why so many suffer. My dad is treated for his disease thru therapy and mediction so the symptoms are kept in check but you fear that one event can trigger a relapse.
We laugh about it now but my Dad would hear voices, and they would tell him to do things... he listened to them b/c as he tells me you believe they are real. We were lucky they told him to do silly things like put on your suit the President is on TV. I can remember while he had a relapse watching TV with him and he got up. I figured he went ot the bathroom but he came back in his suit.
It was silly things like that and some not so silly but scary like thinking he was being followed, thinking the goverment was bugging the house, memories I wish not to relive. He also told me what one fo the last things the voices said to him before his recovery"I'll be back" that was hard to hear from my Dad.
I haven't been personally touched by suicide, but I can understand why someone would want to end unrelenting psychological or physical pain. My mother has been dealing with ongoing severe back pain for two years, and the feeling of hopelessness when nothing helps is very discouraging. I'm sure she has considered it...she has even made passing reference to it. So far, she is still hanging on - now going to try hypnosis. But it is a daily struggle...
I believe suicide is part and parcel of severe depression. Almost 10% of us experience clinical depression every year. A small part of those 10% sink so deeply into depression that they consider killing themselves.
It is true that depression is caused by a neurotransmitter imbalance in the frontal lobes and nucleus accumbens in the brain. However, WHY the imbalance occurs is a mystery.
Research suggests the tendency to depression is hereditary and exists in all cultures. Some depression is obviously triggered by life tragedies, but often no trigger is apparent. In addition, many people in tragic situations find coping mechanisms other than deep depression. The movie "It's A Beautiful Life" by Robert Benigni, according to Time Mag, "makes love and laughter come alive in a Nazi concentration camp."
Here's two great resources. My favorite self help book for depression is called "How To Heal Depression" by Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D.
Consumer Reports published a great discussion of depression and its treatment in their October, 2004 issue. Subscribers can read it at www.consumerreports.org .
To come back to Rob's question, I don't think you can understand suicide without understanding depression. I don't think intelligent people are more prone to depression than anyone else. It's just that we take more notice when someone famous dies of suicide than someone else. Also, as contributors to this thread have shown, alcohol itself causes depression and often contributes to suicide.
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
On the brighter side, many of the teenagers I've treated for suicide attempts, once they recover and get treatment, often including drug and alcohol treatment, recover fully.
During Hurricane Agnes in 1972, the Susquehanna River came over it's banks...15-20 feet above normal water level. Kathy's aunt and uncle lived north of Harrisburg in a one story house. We lived in H'bg at the time and helped shovel the mud out of the house...submerged 1/2 way to the ceiling.
Uncle Herman was a simple guy...steel worker....no children...the little bungalow was his whole life. On July 5, 1972, he went into their little garden house and committed suicide. The aunt heard the noise and called me for help. I was the first one on the scene and discovered the body. He blew his head off with a shotgun. Luckily, I can't remember anything about those few minutes.
11-13-2004, 05:37 PM
Suicide.
Not pretty thoughts. 
Our world is a very complex placed and is filled with difficulties -- I've noticed that most of the time those people who are involved in the creative process, writers, artists, actors, musicians, etc. are very sensitive people who struggle with inner demons who threaten their inner being. It is difficult to "live up" to the expectations placed upon them by peers and family. Despite their intelligence, they often fall into the trap of self-medicating (drugs, alcohol, etc.) in the desire to escape the feelings of depression. I really don't think that depression is treated by physicians in an appropriate manner either. The answer isn't always found in a prozac bottle -- sometimes I think depressed people don't respond to meds because what they really need is "talk" therapy or analysis. I personally believe a good psychologist perhaps coupled with medication is the better route to go. Medical science has progressed so far in so many ways, but it isn't so easy to treat illness of the brain or personality disorders. The drugs currently available come along with side effects that are often worse than the illness itself. 
