wantone

A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview. He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said 'Kelvin'.

'Right', he said, 'what about that blond one over there?

'Kelvin', she said.

'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?' 'Kelvin', she said.

'Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball 'Kelvin', she said.

'Are all your boys called Kelvin?' he asked, 'isn't
that terribly complicated?'

'Not at all', she said, 'it makes everything very easy, actually.

When I shout: Kelvin, tea is ready!, they all come.

When I say: Kelvin, it's time for bed!, they all go to bed.' 'I see.

But what if you want only one of them?

'No problem.' she answers. 'Then I call them by their surnames'.

2kMarc

Got one for ya...


A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender, clearly in trouble. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."