Unfortunately, I have had to "sit Shiva" numerous times in my life. I fully understand the practice, the reasons and the actual ceremony.

The main purpose in todays world is to help comfort the family while being there as part of the Jewish community. The idea itself is a wonderful one that dates back thousands of years.

Although, like many religions, without knowing why certain things are done (like covering all mirrors in a house-you should not see yourself in mourning), it can be a confusing process.

 

Of all of the rituals and ceremonies that we Jews have, shiva is perhaps the the most humane and caring ritual. It is a time when friends, relatives and other members of the community reach out to those in mourning to give comfort and support in what is perhaps the most horrible, darkest period.

Having been on both sides I can say it is a fine ritual.

 

This was very educational. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the custom of shiva. Now if I ever am invited to shiva, I would know what to expect and how much this means to the family and friends.

 

I want to have a shiva of sorts. After I'm cremated and gone, the first and only service I want to have is a party, where everyone can tell a story about me or repeat a joke I have told them. Anybody sad can go home.
I'm serious.

 

You haven't come back from the dead, have you?












I know, bad joke.

 

Sounds like an Irish wake to me

The country tradition in Ireland was to hold a party for the dead person while the body was still laid out in the house.

In the old days, they would hold an 'American wake' for people emigrating to America, as the chances of ever seeing them again were slim to none.

 

The quote o f the month is by Jay Leno:

'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and
with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a
good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

 

^^

...And it always amazes me that so-called "non-believers" work so hard at justifying or explaining away these spiritual matters, and refuse to develop that part of their lives...because it involves some faith.

It seems the more primative a culture, the more effort is put into the rituals of things they don't fully understand...especially death (as described in S1997's post). I've known many missionary friends over the years who relate some very bizzare stories of the ritualistic practices carried on by heathen tribes in underdeveloped areas of the world. Now, it seems some of those practices are in our own neighborhoods.

I have found it very comforting to be able to draw strength from my spiritual/relgious life, especially during the death of a friend or family member. I have comforted many people who have turned their backs on spiritual/religious beliefs, and when they encounter the death of a loved one, they're lost and confused.

If I didn't believe in a higher power (God), my life would lack purpose and direction. Life on this Earth can't be all there is to it. If I'm mistaken in the end, I still think is was the best way to live my life.

 

^^ Well said, Spokes Man. Beautiful thoughts.

 

I have my own personal issues with the concept of religion, though I do not consider myself as an athiest in the traditional sense.

I'd like to offer the following, from discussions with my sister and personal observations. My sister is CEO of a large Hospice chain in this area of northern Ohio. The Hospice has an inpatient unit of 18 beds with the charter of the-final-two weeks but the reality of more like a hotel duration stay. I donated one such room many years ago in tribute to my mother. I have reasons to go there on occasion, mostly to help out my sister as an unofficial volunteer. They do have a paid non-denominational chaplain, with whom I have spoken numerous times. I have always been heartened and amazed by the strength of 20-30 year old men and women inpatients with children. The serenity and courage of elderly women. The more nervous calm of elderly male believers. Admitting to be so non-believers are much less common, most often less visited, most often more restless and longer staying, and decidedly more morphine requiring and wanting. My sister says the same is true for those who decide to stay at home for hospice home care. She says there are marked differences between how believers and non-believers deal with their final days. You figure.