ralper

Thank you to everyone who has added to this since my last post. If I haven't sent you a thank you pm yet, I will soon.

The funeral was last Sunday. We had a huge turnout. There weren't enough seats for all who attended. We all (my sister, wife, brother in law and myself) spoke. I had a very hard time finishing my words. I didn't give a eulogy, instead I spoke to my father.

The rabbi had known my mother and father for about 35 years and so he spoke from the heart. It was quite a ceremony. All in all, we were in the funeral home for about an hour. After that we drove (the family members were in limousines) to the cemetery about 2 hours away. It is an old tradition that we all help to bury the casket, so we each threw a shovelful of dirt into the grave. A large number of people came to the cemetery and then back to the house.

We sat shiva until Thursday night. Today was Yom Kippur, and my little family attended in our own temple. I said Yiskor this afternoon.

Now the healing is beginning. We, my little family, are beginning to get back to normal. I still have to say Kaddish for the next 11 months, and I think about my father from time to time, but we've started to look to the future again.

This has been a very difficult summer. These last 4 weeks have been especially difficult. But, if I've learned anything at all from my father I've learned to look forward. He believed, and he taught me to believe that tomorrow will always be a better day.

Its time to move forward.

OhioRacer

It sounds to me like the grieving tradition in your family/religion is very sound and healthy. You know where to find us on those "bad days" however.

ralper

I thought that I'd share this photo with you. It is the last photo taken of my father. It was taken on September 5th with Adam at his side. A few minutes earlier I took the same photo with my other son, Andrew, at his side.

They both look happy. My father looks especially happy.

OhioRacer

tomcatt

^Those two photos brought tears to my eyes.

What wonderful imagery of three generations.

OhioRacer

Tom,

I'm sorry to hijack the condolences thread but I lost my place in the other Fall Colors thread. You mentioned that you and Hilly were going to stop in Ohio the day before FC04. You are welcome to stay at my house if you like. I have plenty of room. Just let me know.

ralper

Don't be sorry. It's time for some happy plans.

Tom, Hilly, you won't find a better host in the state of Ohio.

78roadrocket

Ralper,
Your story hits close to home w/ me. My father has been in less than desirable health for the last ten years, and I often worry about his condition. The latest event on his list was a minor stroke, that will probably spell and end to his career. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, and I send my most sincere condolences.

ralper

Rocket

Thank you for your condolences. You are very kind.

You need to spend as much time with your father as possible. You need to help him get over his stroke, and you need to spend as much time being his son as possible. That is something that will do both of you a great deal of good. Time together is the most valuable and rarest commodity that we have.

Please extend our best wishes to your father for a speedy and complete recovery. Know that our prayers are with him. Godspeed.

78roadrocket

The advice is much appreciated. I don't get to spend near enough time with him as I would like. Between my college schedule and working all the time, it's hard to make the 2.5 hour trip to see him. I should be moving to Columbus next summer to attend OSU, and things should be better between us then. Ah, to be 17 and stressed, lol.