Legal Bill

I am not posting this to say good bye or to start a thread about how I was a good CO. Frankly, I'm so low on the CO ladder, I couldn't touch Deb's, Rob's or Lainey's boots. But being your CO for a year left me with some thoughts about the forum and internet communities. This is America, so I get to speak my thoughts here. You can ignore them (and me) of course.

Try to be understanding. If a post can be taken two ways, and one of the two ways is offensive to you, assume the author meant the non-offensive interpretation. Or at least ask before you take offense.

Try to have a sense of humor. This is the internet. You run into all kinds from all around the world here. If you cannot be tolerant, try not to overreact.

Try to include new people in your conversations. It is easy to skip over the posts of new people. Go out of your way to try to get to know them. they are the future of the forum.

If you offend someone, and you think they have misunderstood what you meant to say, try to explain what you actually meant. Do not respond in a way that escalates the dispute.

If you offend someone, and they understood exactly what you meant, do not tell the person that they should not be offended. It isn't your job to instill a sense of humor in others. Everyone has their own tolerance for ribbing and kidding. If you cross someone's line, tell them you are sorry you offended them, and make a note of that person's intolerance for kidding. If you are one of those who thinks they never need to apologize, at least make it a point to stay away from the person you offended.

Some people don't know they are wise-guys or gals. They remind me of the line from the movie "The Sixth Sense." To paraphrse: "I see wise guys. They don't even know they are wise guys. They walk around just like regular people. They hear only what they want to hear. They see only what they want to see." If you find people are offended by you and you don't understand why, ask a CO if you are a wise guy. they will give you an honest answer.

If you are a wise-guy or gal, expect others to make cracks about you too. You have to be able to take it if you spend a lot of time dishing it out. If you can't take it, don't dish it out.

Taking the above point to the next level, if you are a wise-guy or gal, don't kid yourself into thinking that you are the "keeper of the line" between jest and insult. Your "line" is probably not drawn at the same point as other people's lines. Others will be offended by your jokes and others will probably offend you. Once you start throwing elbows, you are in the free fire zone and you really don't get to impose your own rules of propriety on others.

Try to support your CO. You have no idea how difficult the job is. I bet a number of people are reading these thoughts and thinking "He is talking about me!" Well, maybe, but for every one of you who thinks "this is about me," there are at least 5 other people who also serve as an example for each paragraph above. The CO has to juggle all of these problems. Give the CO the benefit of the doubt if you do not know all the facts of a particular problem. They are trying their best.

Take your disputes off line. If you get into it with another member, and you are not able to just walk away from it, think about sending a PM to the other party and ccing one of the COs. COs can help moderate the dispute and bring an independant perspective to the problem.

All of the people here are great most of the time. Most of the people here are great all of the time. Some of the people here are not too great some of the time. If you can't follow the math, all I'm trying to say is don't let a temporary outburst from one or two people ruin your day. It will all blow over, and we will all feel silly about it after the problem passes.

I leave you with a line from a very stupid movie. "Be excellent to each other." You are all great people. Sometimes you just need to remember that. (Yeah, me too. I include myself in all of the above.)

Lainey

Bill.

Thanks for the thoughts.

NNY S2k

Bill, you did a great job. Thanks
Levi

S1997

^^^ I agree, Levi.

And thanks for the post, Bill. I sometimes wonder at how well we do in talking to each other on the internet. It is so one dimensional as compared to talking to each other face to face. Most of us do intend to be respectful and friendly in our posts. (Otherwise we wouldn't bother trying.) That doesn't always come through on line where we don't have the intonation and stress patterns that we have in speech. If you are looking someone in the eye it is much easier to read the nuances and smile. The board is limiting, but the board is enabling, too. We can exchange with a much larger group of folks in a much larger geographical range. That makes it all much more enjoyable and worthwhile.

We are in fact all different, and have different tolerances for kidding and for what we like to think is humor. But it is not always easy to assess that when communicating from a distance. Still, it all seems to work well enough to attract us and keep this enterprise going. Es lebe, vive, long live Vintage!

MsPerky

Great and thoughtful post, Bill...it can be difficult being CO, but the rewards are worth it, at least they were to me. Remember back when some of your dry humor wasn't going over well (although I love it), and some of us encouraged the use of emoticons to convey the intent of the post? That does work in cases where there is some question...I know you said assume the post is in jest unless you say otherwise, but not everyone knows that. Anywho, I'm glad you stepped up when it was sorely needed - I appreciate that very, very much.

ralper

Bill,

You've said a lot of things that very badly needed to be said. Thank you.


If I might add two thoughts:

1. Nobody should assume it is their role or position to be the court jester, especially if the humor is at the expense of others. If you've got something to say that you think is funny (or even if you don't think its funny), say it and move on. Don't obsess over it, don't get carried away with it, and don't target any one particular member. Don't keep regurgitating the same old nonsense.

2. If your attempt at humor is aimed at someone and that someone asks you to stop, you should stop. Stop means exactly what it says, it isn't a sign to intensify.

And, you are absolutely right. If you dish it out, even thinking that it is in good humor, you'd better be prepared to get it back. If you can't take it, don't give it.

Legal Bill

Thanks for all the thank yous. I appreciate that, but I am not looking for that. You have all thanked me enough, and it was an honor.

I truly appreciate the discussion of the points. I agree with Jim and Deb that folks cannot read the person's intent here. Emoticons do help. Sometimes we have to change our style to avoid trouble.

And yes Rob. Stop means stop. This isn't high school.

This will continue to be a great place if we remember that a large percentage of our on-line population, and all of the brand new people have not met us face to face. Treat them kindly and they will stay.

Emil St-Hilaire

for Bill.

paS2K

Thanks for taking over the CO role when it was badly needed, Bill. You did your best and rarely stepped over the line of objectivity.

You've certainly done a good job at showing those jesters the door Hopefully they will rarely show their face here again.

S1997

[QUOTE=Legal Bill,Oct 14 2006, 10:15 PM]



Try to include new people in your conversations.