^Guilty!

 

 

 

 

Norwegian Volunteer Fire Department
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer firefighters arrived on the scene the president of the chemical company rushed up to the fire chief and said that all of their secret formulas are in a vault in the center of the plant and that they must be saved .He said I will give 50,000 dollars to the fire dept. that saves them. Soon more fire depts came in as the fire became worse. As more firemen arrived the president said the offer is raised to 100,000 dollars to save the formulas. From the distance a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township Volunteer Fire Department composed mostly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement that little run down firetruck roared past all the newer sleek firetrucks that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort not seen before. Within a short time the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. The grateful president announced that for such a super human feat he was upping the reward to 200,000 and walked over and thanked each of the firemen. A local tv reporter asked the chief what they were going to do with all that money and he replied "well the first thingwe are gonna do is fix the brakes on dat focking truck!

 

 

https://www.gocomics.com/closetohome/2024/02/28

 

Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there St.Peter says “We only have one rule here in heaven, don’t step on the ducks. If one starts quacking then they all do it and the noise is terrible”. So they enter heaven and sure enough there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy actually steps on one.
Along comes St Peter with the ugliest woman the guy ever saw. St.Peter chains them together and says “your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this woman!”
The next day the second guy accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St.Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.
The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained to an ugly woman for all eternity is very, very careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St.Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?”
The woman replies “I don’t know about you but I stepped on a duck.”