Joke of the Day, Vintage Style
10-31-2006 | 08:20 AM
#1103
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 43,455
Likes: 3,667
From: Loveland, CO
Originally Posted by NNY S2k,Oct 31 2006, 12:34 AM
.... I'll tell yo u, I n ever even danced one dance. When I got there, I
met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."
met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."
10-31-2006 | 02:04 PM
#1104
Registered User
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,464
Likes: 0
From: Leominster MA
The Pants
Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here - try these on.' She did and said, 'These are too big I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on."
She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here -you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here - try these on.' She did and said, 'These are too big I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on."
She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here -you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
10-31-2006 | 02:54 PM
#1106
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 43,455
Likes: 3,667
From: Loveland, CO
Originally Posted by TheToon,Oct 31 2006, 02:04 PM
The Pants
...Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here -you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
...Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here -you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
10-31-2006 | 03:22 PM
#1107
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 345
Likes: 0
---------- Forwarded Message ----------
SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR KID RIGHT!
One Nation, "Under God".
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a
classroom. The teacher was going to explain
evolution to the children. The teacher asked
a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree
outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass
outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see
if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes
later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see
God because he isn't there. Possibly he just
doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the
boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked
the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree
outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass
outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the
teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we
were taught today in school, she possibly
may not even have one!
(You Go Girl!)
11-01-2006 | 12:26 AM
#1108
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 25,136
Likes: 330
From: Plattsburgh, NY
The Redneck's Sister
Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a
deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and
sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor
about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are
just fine."
After all this time," she says, "do they have names?"
"Yes ma'am," the doctor says. "Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what did he name them?"
"The girl is Denise," says the doctor.
The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong
about my brother. I like Denise."
Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"
(Ready??...)
"Denephew."
Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a
deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and
sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor
about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are
just fine."
After all this time," she says, "do they have names?"
"Yes ma'am," the doctor says. "Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what did he name them?"
"The girl is Denise," says the doctor.
The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong
about my brother. I like Denise."
Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"
(Ready??...)
"Denephew."
