Or a High TACAN penetration approach!
Penetration, however slight,.......

 

“A very successful lawyer buys a new Ferrari. He parks in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he gets out, a truck passes too close and completely tears the door off of the driver’s side.
The counselor immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up to take a report.
Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically.
His Ferrari, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally winds down from his ranting and raving, the officer shakes his head in disgust.
“I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he says. “All you care about is money and your possessions.”
The lawyer unleashes a stream of obscenities before the officer can calm him down.
“Hear me out . . . see, you are so worried about your car, you didn’t even notice that the accident took off your left arm.”
“Oh my god!” screams the lawyer. “Where’s my Rolex?”

 

At the movie theater, a girl returning to her seat taps the shoulder of the man in the last seat in the row.
“Excuse me,” she says, “but did I step on your toe on the way to the bathroom?”
“As a matter of fact, you did,” says the man, expecting an apology.
“Oh good,” says the girl, “then this is my row.”

 

A blonde female bought herself a new Mercedes. She could drive the car during the day, but at night the car wouldn't move at all. She tried driving the car at night for a week with no luck.
Furious, she called the dealership, told them the problem and they sent a mechanic to the house. The mechanic gave the car a thorough inspection and could not find anything wrong.
Eventually, he asked the blonde, " Are you sure you're using the right gears?"
"Of course I am. I'm not stupid. I use "D" during the day and "N" at night!"

 

 

A young man passes an elderly man crying on a park bench. The young man stops and asks if everything is okay. The old man looks up with his eyes filled with tears.
“Kid,” the old man says, “I’m ninety years old. Last week I married a woman half my age. She does everything for me—she cooks my meals, washes my clothes, shops for me, and will do anything I ask in the bedroom.”
“Oh,” replies the young man. “Well, that doesn’t sound bad at all. Why are you sitting here crying?”
“Because,” the old man sobs loudly, “I can’t remember where the hell I live!”

 

A husband and wife wake up one morning, and when the man leans over to kiss his wife, she yells in his face.
“Don’t touch me! I’m dead.”
“What are you talking about?” the husband asks. “We’re both lying in bed. You can’t be dead.”
“I must be dead,” the wife responds, “because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.”

 

An old man is taking the road test to renew his driver’s license.
The instructor tells the old man that when she taps on the dashboard she wants him to slow down and show her the action he’d take if a young child ran out in front of his car.
The instructor taps the dashboard a few minutes into the ride.
The old man screeches the car to a halt, puts down the window, and yells to the empty street, “Be careful where you’re going, you little jerk!”

 

Three senior citizens are sitting on a park bench complaining about their failing bodies.
“Every morning, I get up at 6 a.m.,” the first man explains, “and I try to pee, but nothing but a trickle comes out.”
The second man adds, “I get up at 6 A.M. too, and it feels like I’ve got to move my bowels, but I sit down on the toilet and nothing happens.”
The third man chimes in the conversation and tells his friends, “I pee and move my bowels at exactly 7 a.m. every morning.”
“That’s not bad,” the first man responds. “Why are you complaining?”
The third man admits, “The problem is I don’t usually wake up until 8 A.M.”

 

Two men are discussing the ailing health of their parents.
“I feel bad,” the first man says. “My dad is senile. All he does is stare through the window all day long.”
“That’s an awful way to live,” the second man responds.
“Yeah, I know,” the man admitted. “One day I should really let him in the house.”