A son came home from school crying, hugged his mother and sobbed, “I don't want to go back to school and I'll give you two reasons why. “
Mother: Okay, what are your reasons?
Son: All the kids hate me and so do all the teachers.
Mother: You're going to go back to school, and I'll give you one reason why.
Son: Yeah? Why?
Mother: Because you’re the principal.

 

Johnny came home from school crying, hugged his mother and sobbed, “I don't want to go back to school, a kid hit me!"
'Who blacked your eye, Johnny?'
"Dunno, mom"
'Would you be able to recognize him if you saw him again?'
"Yup, I've got his ear in my pocket!"

 

Dad jokes, anyone?

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, they just waved.

 

More Dad jokes.

What do you call cheese that's not yours?

Nacho cheese

 

And another...

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

 

And one more...

Where do bad rainbows go?

To prism, it’s a light sentence but it gives them time to reflect

 

All right, if you insist, one more...

How do you defeat a mob of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

 

 

 

Four engineers get into a car, the car won’t start.
The mechanical engineer says “it’s a broken starter”.
The electrical engineer says “ dead battery.”
The chemical engineer says “impurities in the gasoline”.
The IT engineer says “let’s all get out and then back in again.”