How about a controversial thread?
01-14-2005, 09:05 AM
#202
Registered User
May my Xylie girl forgive me for what I am about to post:
To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT
To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT
01-14-2005, 09:09 AM
#203
Registered User
If you look up the definition of classic, you will see that it's "the first, the model, the creator of the work". That, my friends, means the S2000 year that is the classic, must be the first. And since 2000 is the first, the rest of you are out of luck. So sorry.
01-14-2005, 09:11 AM
#204
^ I have to agree...
01-14-2005, 09:25 AM
#205
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Originally Posted by Morris,Jan 14 2005, 12:05 PM
May my Xylie girl forgive me for what I am about to post:
To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT
To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT
OK, in all fairness:
How To Bathe Your Cat
Thoroughly clean your toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo in the toilet and have both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he can not escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body to close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
THE DOG
Thoroughly clean your toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo in the toilet and have both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he can not escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body to close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
THE DOG
01-14-2005, 09:29 AM
#206
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Originally Posted by dean,Jan 14 2005, 10:45 AM
Until six years ago, I had never been to Texas, except for a brief stay back in the early seventies as a guest of Harris County in Houston at the county jail. 
Oh, and just in case you were doubting that I have the big hair and the horns on the front of my car, here's a picture of the boots:
01-14-2005, 09:38 AM
#207
Registered User
Here is just one page from the cat's diary:
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
01-14-2005, 09:41 AM
#208
Mother of God, what's happened here!!!!!!!! 
I go away for one day and there are 9 pages of this non-controversy controversy! Even Jerry and Rob kissed and made up immediately. All this nonsense about colors, cats and dogs? This is not controversy people!!!
And Allah said to the followers, "there will come a day when the infidels shall have talked themselves out. And they shall communicate no more over the big wire in the sky they shall call the Internet, born of one they call Al Gore. And in the year of the toad, one who resides in the big state where they have oil shall open her mouth and speak non-truths about the color of the sun. And the one from the state by the big lake shall place a pox on the house of the one with the transporter that is absent of color. And the one from the northern big land they shall call Canada, the leader of the transporters without color, shall also fall under the spell of the pox. And in the end, the leader they follow who lives in the land of jersey, and the leader they follow who lives in the land of philly, shall embrace, Allah willing, and by doing so shall reserve their 72 virgins in heaven. However, darkness will fall on the one from the warm place who walks the land naked and creates fear. He shall not have his 72 virgins for he has exceeded his limit on the earth. And he will be cursed to live his days without the comfort of the female and will be left alone with only his right hand. Be alert my followers for there shall come one they call grandmother, who would have been the light of the world had she not acquired the weird colored transporter. But in the year of the buttock, she shall redeem herself by acquiring the transporter colored of the sun, and all will be at peace, Allah willing."
I go away for one day and there are 9 pages of this non-controversy controversy! Even Jerry and Rob kissed and made up immediately. All this nonsense about colors, cats and dogs? This is not controversy people!!! And Allah said to the followers, "there will come a day when the infidels shall have talked themselves out. And they shall communicate no more over the big wire in the sky they shall call the Internet, born of one they call Al Gore. And in the year of the toad, one who resides in the big state where they have oil shall open her mouth and speak non-truths about the color of the sun. And the one from the state by the big lake shall place a pox on the house of the one with the transporter that is absent of color. And the one from the northern big land they shall call Canada, the leader of the transporters without color, shall also fall under the spell of the pox. And in the end, the leader they follow who lives in the land of jersey, and the leader they follow who lives in the land of philly, shall embrace, Allah willing, and by doing so shall reserve their 72 virgins in heaven. However, darkness will fall on the one from the warm place who walks the land naked and creates fear. He shall not have his 72 virgins for he has exceeded his limit on the earth. And he will be cursed to live his days without the comfort of the female and will be left alone with only his right hand. Be alert my followers for there shall come one they call grandmother, who would have been the light of the world had she not acquired the weird colored transporter. But in the year of the buttock, she shall redeem herself by acquiring the transporter colored of the sun, and all will be at peace, Allah willing."
01-14-2005, 09:44 AM
#209
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Originally Posted by uppitychick,Jan 14 2005, 12:38 PM
Here is just one page from the cat's diary:
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....
I'm going to post a Dog's Letters to God and the Complete Cat Diary in the Pet Photo thread.
Hi, Ohio - then you must've missed the entire section on your legs, huh?