I dealt with a handful of alcohol related ones in the military. It required mucho paperwork, mucho counseling, mucho referrals and reviews, administrative discipline, etc. I don't remember a success story. The effort was required, but the outcomes - which required military service exit processing - seemed inevitable. Some definitely just wanted out, and probably used this as an alternative method for an honorable or general discharge. I do recognize alcoholism as an illness/addiction, but since our society deals with it like an illness, it also does preclude potential severe consequences, which actually might motivate the individual and often occur anyhow.

 

I go along with all those who say it's fruitless unless the person has hit bottom; or at least has had an experience bad enough that it makes them really want to stop.

 

Wow, this thread hits close to home, sort of a life of mine in the past...

As others have said, until the person with the problem wants to accept the fact that they do indeed have a problem AND are willing to devote the the time and energy to getting over it, all the interventions in the world are worthless in their ability to create change for the good, they will however clearly create some change for the bad in the form of anger, stress, lack of trust and a whole collection of other negative crap.

In my 1st hand experience siblings and parent converged onto someone with an eaing disorder, and even after hospital time, individual consoling, group consoling, infinite conversations with family and friends, even when the individual who was 5'2" got down to 88 pounds I assure you, from their point of view there was no problem; in fact, you must be the one with a problem because you insist something is wrong and clearly there is not. Yea, like 88 pounds in clearly not a problem...

Good luck, situations like this are never easy. People want to help, they want to take action, but sometimes that is the fastes way to make the sick person mad as hell and not able to forgive the people who are indeed trying to help. Basically, just an ugly loose, loose situation.

 

My wife works at a private psych hospital, and she could tell you many stories. Even the people who want help have a tough time. The ones who were forced into it usually just stay long enough to ensure they're not a suicide risk, and then the insurance companies cut them loose.

My wife runs into former patients now and then. We were at Wegmans a while back and this woman rushed over to us saying "I know you! Where do I know you from? Did we go to school together?" My wife leaned in towards her and whispered "Hampton Hospital". The lady took off like she was on fire.

 

That's great!!!

Of course my ears really perked up when I heard Wegmans on this forum. After all, it's a local company for me....

 

When Wegman's opened two stores in Northern Virginia we dropped Giant Food like a "HOT Potato".

For those of you that may not be familiar with Wegman's. It is a a food Super Store that is hard to describe in the conventional sense as a Super Market. For the last few years Wegman's was considered to be the NUMBER ONE employer in the U.S..

Mr Wegman (who died last year) founded his company on the principle that if you treat your employee's well, they will in turn treat your customer's well. What a concept.

The store cannot be described in the conventional sense of a super market. It has to be experienced.

 

Well, the intervention for the family member above is planned for this weekend, when I will be in Boston with other family members. I hope it goes OK, but it could be dicey. The plan is to check him into a rehab program immediately after, assuming it works. Things have pretty much hit rock bottom.

The issue is complicated by the fact that the parents are not on very good speaking terms and have been divorced for some time. They end up fighting over whose fault it is that he has this problem, instead of focusing on the present and future. Quite a mess... I really hope they can come together for the sake of their son.

 

Good luck. It sounds like the parents need a visit from Dr. Phil - "So, how's that been working for you?"

 

Yes, I'm hoping a counselor from the rehab place will be included in the intervention, but that is uncertain at this point.

 

Good luck, Deb. That part of the weekend sounds rough.