Do you worry?
01-06-2005, 04:41 AM
#41
Registered User
Kyras, you hit the nail right on the head. He is selfish in that regard. He thinks that if it does not bother him that it sould not bother you. His father and I have been round and round with him about that in all sorts of issues. On the other hand, he would give you the shirt off of his back and go without. Huge contrast. I guess I really have NO say so in his life anymore. I just hate to see him headed for a "huge hole" and have to let him just fall in. But I will. That really may be the ONLY way he may ever get it. 
01-06-2005, 05:13 AM
#43
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very interesting thread - always good to know that we're not alone in our worry, stress or even in our joy!
god grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference...
I find that repeating this portion of the serenity prayer at times of stress & worry is helpful for me...
to name but a few of the things that i can worry about...
I have a 17yo recently accepted to her early decision college choice - very stressful financially - I have moments of worry about helping to make happen all that a responsible parent is supposed to meke happen for a teenager ... I worry about giving her all the space she needs to learn from her decision making process - whether I think she's right or wrong - she has to learn.
I also have a 3yo - for him I have moments of worry about all of lifes questions - core safety & security concerns - finding his place in his life - enough to eat? warm enough? enough exercise?
for both of them having comfort & companionship in their lifes? values & family?
for my wife...that she continues to work to realize some of her larger dreams & ambitions..finds her own inner peace & personal success...
for myself...finance & romance....peace & success.. being a useful member of community & society... of sufficient service to my family & friends...continuing to meet my needs for interesting hobbies & stimulation ...
for my mom ... health, comfort and some joy for the later years of her life...
the business ... lots of new & satisfied clients - work/project that means something - and pay well...
I could probably write for a very long time... but I also believe for me that positive action can help me to dispell many of my worries and concerns...the others I pray about and/or ask for help with ....
I met a few of you from this forum at FC04 - thanks for the opportunity to participate.
god grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference...
I find that repeating this portion of the serenity prayer at times of stress & worry is helpful for me...
to name but a few of the things that i can worry about...
I have a 17yo recently accepted to her early decision college choice - very stressful financially - I have moments of worry about helping to make happen all that a responsible parent is supposed to meke happen for a teenager ... I worry about giving her all the space she needs to learn from her decision making process - whether I think she's right or wrong - she has to learn.
I also have a 3yo - for him I have moments of worry about all of lifes questions - core safety & security concerns - finding his place in his life - enough to eat? warm enough? enough exercise?
for both of them having comfort & companionship in their lifes? values & family?
for my wife...that she continues to work to realize some of her larger dreams & ambitions..finds her own inner peace & personal success...
for myself...finance & romance....peace & success.. being a useful member of community & society... of sufficient service to my family & friends...continuing to meet my needs for interesting hobbies & stimulation ...
for my mom ... health, comfort and some joy for the later years of her life...
the business ... lots of new & satisfied clients - work/project that means something - and pay well...
I could probably write for a very long time... but I also believe for me that positive action can help me to dispell many of my worries and concerns...the others I pray about and/or ask for help with ....
I met a few of you from this forum at FC04 - thanks for the opportunity to participate.
01-06-2005, 05:47 AM
#45
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Nate03,Jan 6 2005, 06:13 AM
very interesting thread - always good to know that we're not alone in our worry, stress or even in our joy!
I met a few of you from this forum at FC04 - thanks for the opportunity to participate.
I met a few of you from this forum at FC04 - thanks for the opportunity to participate.
Nate, and thank you for contributing here. My profile has more info about me than you'd probably want to know. I hope you feel welcome in Vintage and post as much as you like.Patty
01-06-2005, 05:50 AM
#46
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by uppitychick,Jan 6 2005, 05:41 AM
Kyras, you hit the nail right on the head. He is selfish in that regard. He thinks that if it does not bother him that it sould not bother you. His father and I have been round and round with him about that in all sorts of issues. On the other hand, he would give you the shirt off of his back and go without. Huge contrast. I guess I really have NO say so in his life anymore. I just hate to see him headed for a "huge hole" and have to let him just fall in. But I will. That really may be the ONLY way he may ever get it.
I'm happy to hear about his other side of generosity too. He'll probably grow out of the selfish part, someday. My brother only got worse. 
01-06-2005, 05:52 AM
#47
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I don't often worry - unless, of course, it's at 2:00 in the morning...somehow things always seem worse after dark, and 2:00 in the morning is an excellent time to lie awake and think for a couple of hours, which of course doesn't help one's frame of mind in the morning 
My Mom was diagnosed with a malignant tumor of her bile duct in September. This tumor also invades the liver, and the plan was to starve part of the liver and then remove up to half of it, as well as the affected bile duct. It's a slow-growing tumor and slow to metastasize; thus, surgery was scheduled for December 22nd. My husband stayed in Texas and I flew to Florida to be with my parents for the next 6 days (she was to be in the hospital post-procedure for 10-14 days). After 3-1/2 hours of surgery, the doctor came out to tell us that he couldn't complete the procedure since the tumor had also invaded the blood supply to the liver. He didn't offer us much hope, other than to say that there was a new chemotherapy study that he'd look into getting her on in hopes of "extending her life or at least improving the quality of it"; otherwise, he told us she had around 4-8 months left (she's only 68 - she should be with us for another 20 years).
I spent Christmas day in her room watching her vomit for 8 hours (after having her NG tube removed and beginning a clear liquid diet that morning). They finally put the NG tube back in and for the next 20 minutes she drained blood - fortunately her bloodwork was stable and with a little stomach medicine the bleeding stopped. At this point I extended my stay by another 2 days. I watched my Dad crying (when he didn't think she could see - they've been married for 47 years). I watched my Mom getting IVs restarted and blood drawn until her arms were purple - they finally put in a central line so they didn't have to keep sticking her for the IVs. By the time I left, she was walking around the entire hallway of the hospital, eating soft foods, and they were going to take her IV out so she didn't have the pole to push around when she walked.
After I got back to Texas, she developed a site infection, which quickly cleared, and was to be discharged home yesterday. When I talked to my Dad the day before yesterday, he said the surgeon had been a bit more encouraging about the potential of the chemo drug (which will be released for investigation at the end of January), and she was to have a port put in for administration of the drug. He was in much better spirits when I talked to him, and Mom hasn't really been in bad spirits this whole time. Now I worry that something will come up that disqualifies her for the study or that she'll be getting the placebo and not the actual drug, and I worry that we won't have her with us for Christmas of 2005.
On top of that, my Grandmother, who lives near my parents, is now in a hospice home because she's decided not to fight a recurrent breast cancer any longer. Her short-term memory is pretty shaky, but we did manage to have the same nice conversation over and over again. Her incredible sense of humor still shone through as she waved off her "forgetfulness". I don't know that she'll be with us next Christmas, either.
I'm self-employed....that means no work, no pay. I didn't work for 8 days, as well as spending lots of money on the trip. There's no question that I had to do it and wouldn't have done it any differently. I'll be taking many, many trips up there this year, and I worry about my finances, though that's the least of my worries at the moment.
Sure we worry - we're human.
My Mom was diagnosed with a malignant tumor of her bile duct in September. This tumor also invades the liver, and the plan was to starve part of the liver and then remove up to half of it, as well as the affected bile duct. It's a slow-growing tumor and slow to metastasize; thus, surgery was scheduled for December 22nd. My husband stayed in Texas and I flew to Florida to be with my parents for the next 6 days (she was to be in the hospital post-procedure for 10-14 days). After 3-1/2 hours of surgery, the doctor came out to tell us that he couldn't complete the procedure since the tumor had also invaded the blood supply to the liver. He didn't offer us much hope, other than to say that there was a new chemotherapy study that he'd look into getting her on in hopes of "extending her life or at least improving the quality of it"; otherwise, he told us she had around 4-8 months left (she's only 68 - she should be with us for another 20 years).
I spent Christmas day in her room watching her vomit for 8 hours (after having her NG tube removed and beginning a clear liquid diet that morning). They finally put the NG tube back in and for the next 20 minutes she drained blood - fortunately her bloodwork was stable and with a little stomach medicine the bleeding stopped. At this point I extended my stay by another 2 days. I watched my Dad crying (when he didn't think she could see - they've been married for 47 years). I watched my Mom getting IVs restarted and blood drawn until her arms were purple - they finally put in a central line so they didn't have to keep sticking her for the IVs. By the time I left, she was walking around the entire hallway of the hospital, eating soft foods, and they were going to take her IV out so she didn't have the pole to push around when she walked.
After I got back to Texas, she developed a site infection, which quickly cleared, and was to be discharged home yesterday. When I talked to my Dad the day before yesterday, he said the surgeon had been a bit more encouraging about the potential of the chemo drug (which will be released for investigation at the end of January), and she was to have a port put in for administration of the drug. He was in much better spirits when I talked to him, and Mom hasn't really been in bad spirits this whole time. Now I worry that something will come up that disqualifies her for the study or that she'll be getting the placebo and not the actual drug, and I worry that we won't have her with us for Christmas of 2005.
On top of that, my Grandmother, who lives near my parents, is now in a hospice home because she's decided not to fight a recurrent breast cancer any longer. Her short-term memory is pretty shaky, but we did manage to have the same nice conversation over and over again. Her incredible sense of humor still shone through as she waved off her "forgetfulness". I don't know that she'll be with us next Christmas, either.
I'm self-employed....that means no work, no pay. I didn't work for 8 days, as well as spending lots of money on the trip. There's no question that I had to do it and wouldn't have done it any differently. I'll be taking many, many trips up there this year, and I worry about my finances, though that's the least of my worries at the moment.
Sure we worry - we're human.
01-06-2005, 05:57 AM
#48
Thread Starter
Ruth, does worry even come close for your ? I'm so sorry for the heartaches in your life right now. 
? I'm so sorry for the heartaches in your life right now.
01-06-2005, 06:03 AM
#49
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It's never easy but at least you're able to be there for your parents and grandmother and that means so much to them. Hang tough through it all, girlfriend. Coming out intact on the other side of all this is the real challenge. I will keep you and your family lifted in prayer.
01-06-2005, 06:50 AM
#50
Registered User
RJosey, my prayers will be with you every day. Life of your loved ones really puts things into perspective. My business is Oncology/Hematology transcription. If you want information about some of the procedures or protocols, I may be able to help you. If I don't know, I may be able to find out for you. Just a thought. My heart is with you.