I remember hearing a guy speaking in church one time and he was complaining about the lack of parpissipation of the membership. Oops. If he was right those poor people!!!

 

We had a funny one at work recently. There were around 15 of us in a conference room eating birthday cake. I didn't have any as I can't eat bananas, but it was a banana cake with lots of sprinkles and ripples etc.

So everyone's eating it, and someone says "Hey, does anyone know what this stuff is?", pointing to the ripples.

My dear friend Christine looks up, glances at the cake, and right as there's a lull in the conversation, says in a voice loud enough to be heard over the now non-existant conversation "I THINK IT'S SEMEN!"

...embarrassed pause, followed by "I MEANT CINNAMON!!!", as everyone howls and all the guys drop their forks and start pretend gagging.

 

Nope. I fake mine.

 

I never make mistakes like that, I'm not Vintage yet . Just kidding .

But Misty used to use the word "famine" in the place of "fathom". I finally cured her of that (in a nice way I promise). And my boss, god bless him, says "supposebly" all the time. Drives me up a ****ing wall .

 

Concentrate and Constipate

I've gotten where I just make it a joke

 

When my reply above was posted I realized that my post got the top honors. I sure hope someone doesn't click on the 2nd page without reading the first page.

I hope no one takes that as a command.

They could get the wrong idea bout us here!

 

I posted some time ago a whole list of Spoonerisms (transposing first letters of words) but another one is the BBC announcer telling the audience that the next piece of music would be the Bight of the Flumblebee. I suppose it might have been worse, he could have called it the Bum of the Flightlebee.

 

 

We have a German friend, a great lady who is a friend of the family, who speaks English very well -- but with a heavy accent. I would never think of making fun of her, but she uses some words and phrases that she has heard and then reshaped to make more sense to her. I can only remember a couple. These are real examples:

Can you remagine that?
I had to get a power of eternity.
He has a bad atti-tube.
I'd like just a little beck. (little bit)

The list goes on -- sometimes they are very funny.

 

This is my sister, Nancy's, story. Her husband had severe sleep apnea so he recently had surgery. His mother was telling friends about the surgery, saying that Glenn was having his vulva removed. In fact it was his uvula.

Nancy had so much fun telling her friends about this word mix-up, that she got confused herself. When she was at church on Saturday, she told the pastor that Glenn's surgery was to remove his vulva. When she saw the guy trying not to she realized what she had said.