I know there is no point in being pissed off..there usually never is, however, maybe my house will get a good cleaning. I sometimes clean when I'm pissed off.

PS was not/will not be sharing my pissed off status with him. I save it for you guys.

 

As hard as it is to say, your brothers poor choices are neither your fault nor your responsibility. I understand how difficult it is to acknowledge that someone close has made bad choices and those choices impact our lives, but there is nothing that you can really do about it. He's made those choices, he has to live with the consequences. There is no reason for you to feel badly (or guilty) about it. Unfortunately, we can't be responsible for the way that those close to us live (even though we wish fervently that we could change them). I had to go through a lot of personal soul-searching to arrive at this point, we can only hope that someone, somewhere holds us up as a good example of the best way to live.

 

Appreciate all the thoughts. I realize I'm not responsible for anyone's choices but mine. I can't fix the things that happen to anyone because of their choices or just fate. My brother is a VERY smart man. I'm saddened (not feeling guilty) that he was not able to make better choices. Such is life.

 

But maybe your influence kept him from making choices that might have been even worse. Sometimes you influence people without realizing it.

 

I may have to try that. When I'm pissed, I usually go nail myself to something with the nail gun, or do something equally stupid and painful.

 

That would be nice, but we've not been that close over the years. Again, just falls into the that's life category. However my siblings (5 of them) are all there for each other when needed.

 

Agreed.

One of the most encouraging things I ever read was an interview with Zachary Levi (the actor who played Chuck in the TV show of the same name).

The atmosphere in Hollywood in general is very anti-conservative, very anti-Christian. The liberal segment of Hollywood, which is 80 percent of it if not more, they look at Christians as hypocrites that are false and fake. The tough part is that in many cases I can't argue with them. My job on my set, I believe, is to first just love people and gain that trust with people where they know that I really do love them and care about their well-being, so that when they are running into problems, they will hopefully, at some point, come to me and ask me, "What is your peace all about? What is your comfort all about? Where do you get your love? Where do you get your talents?" And I can turn to them and say without blinking, "Jesus Christ." You can't just come out there and say "Hey, I’m a Christian, and I’m gonna beat you into thinking the way that I do." You can't do that. It's not about manipulation so much as it's about getting in on someone's life on the ground floor. So more than anything, that's what I'm trying to do now. Just build relationships with everyone that I work with.

--ZACHARY LEVI

Regardless of one's religious beliefs, you have to respect his choice to lead by example-- to love and be compassionate. Let the rest come as it may. The influence comes as a by-product without us even knowing it.

 

and I thank you for your kindness! Talk about circling the wagons!!!! I've come to realize that we are all individuals who make decisions based on our own desires and for our own reasons. I'm floored by some of the decisions I've seen loved ones make and also floored by the realization they have no idea of the impact their decisions have on those who love them. In any event, I've made my share of stupid mistakes. I like that you called us "Vintage family members", MsP. Yep, we're one big family. I appreciate the support I've gotten over the past years from so many of you through some of the trying times and the virtual hugs mean so much. On another note, LB and his "I'm Fat" thread has certainly been a huge help for me. I got off my duff and started those walks which have made me feel soooo much stronger, increased my endurance, been a great sleep aid and I've had very little back pain as well. I praise you too LB!!!!

 

Reading through this thread makes me realize how lucky we as a group are, and how very lucky I am. My biggest problem lately was a check engine light, and compared to some of the things I'm reading that's no problem at all.

Have to count your blessings.

 

Sometimes my younger sister and I think we came from a different family than my other sister and brother. They have made poor choices and continue to do so. My brothers health is not good, he has to work because he has no savings or retirement and at 68 y.o. I don't know how much longer he can. My older sister waited for years for the perfect man and the perfect job and her life went by as she waited. Still has no common sense.
I don't get mad or upset anymore. They made their beds and can lie in them. We all have choices, and I refuse to be responsible, or worry about, theirs.