Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with
the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's
prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless
his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his
brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB
on a six lane highway"

Or, "Bless her heart, she's so buck-toothed, she could
eat an apple through a picket fence." There are also
the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing that even
though she had that baby 7 months after they were
married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds."

As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the
insult can't be all that bad. I was thinking about
this the other day when a friend was telling about her
new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset because
her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a
Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and,
bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs
of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all,
this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of
years ago Can you believe it?" said her friend.. "A
child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike
thiiiissss.."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends
are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome
their perspective, their friendships and their recipes
for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten
past their endless complaints that you can't find good
bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts,
don't like cornbread!

We've already lost too much. I was raised to say
"swanee," not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone
say that anymore, I swanee you don't.

And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying
something is "right much," "right close," or "right
good" because non-natives think this is right funny
indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's
hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to
the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a
giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something.

And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where
"over yonder" is or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her
heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've
stayed home."

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:

1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes, ma'am."
2. "Yes, sir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond
expressions:

1. "Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
2. "Well, bless your heart."
3 "Drop by when you can."
4. "How's your mother?"
5. "Love your hair."

Southern girls know everybody's first name:

1. Honey
2. Darlin'
3. Sugah

Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern
charm:

1. Hotlanta or Adlanna ( Atlanta as outsiders say)
2. Richmon
3. Challston
4. S'vannah
5. Birminham
6. Nawlins'
7. OH! And that city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!


Southern girls know the three deadly sins:

1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates



That Reminds me. I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your children were born in the South does not make them Southerners. After all, if a cat had kittens in the oven,that wouldn't make them biscuits."

Bless Yer Hearts

 

Taking notes to get it right for our trip south in the spring.

 

You've got the book, so if you just memorize a few passages, you'll do just fine.

 

Val, I just love this. Please forgive me any of my rudeness's not only am I from the north but I'm from even further north than America! I won't forget the finger pulling!!!!!! I can't even bring myself to use that icon.

 

I'm working on it.

 

Val, you're a riot! I've heard that used around here, Bless Her Heart. And it's usually like you said, just before some female bashes another. For instance, my leader in Weight Watchers used to say it before she bitched about how her sister was skinny no matter what she ate.

 

Val ... I grew up in Muntgumry ... and even though I have since moved north (3 whole hours), I continue to hear those sayins and occasionally utter them myself.

There ya' go!

 

Well, bless your heart!!!

 

DARN!

Val, I think I deleted a post of yours, I'm so sorry. I thought I had double posted went to delete one of mine and I think yours went too DUH.

Anyway, you were telling me I had missed my chance to tell Patty, "bless your heart" and I was trying to answer your post.

My reply was: Well BLESS PATRICIA'S HEART I'm so happy that she does not have to put her S away for the winter.......


Or something like that.....

 

^^ I think that was in that we're withering on the vine thread or whatever the name of it is.