Tachus

I'd like to add an amen to all that has been written here, including the group hug.
One of the advantages of changing countries is that you can leave people out of your life if you want to and only visit those you want to see when you do go back.
With regard to long term back pain I have found that there is a degree of moroseness that goes hand in hand with it. One just has to set your mind on a more cheerful plain. Allowing yourself the occasional pity party when no one is around, getting it out of your system and getting back to cheerful, helps. Also as Lainey said, "lower your expectations," that goes for yourself as well as of others. Life is good and this is a great place to be with internet friends.

boltonblue

finally a thread we can all sink our collective teeth into....

there is a phrase "crisis doesn't build character it reveals it"
I think the pain helps strip away all the pretense we tended to put up with on a "better days".

While I haven't achieved curmudgeon status I do have to admit to having become a serious A-hole, especially professionally.
I hold myself to fairly high standards. Standards which I can rarely achieve but that I always strive towards.
contrarily, I've come to expect very little out of some of my peers, unfortunately I can't divulge much of that on a public forum.

so Val I don't think your alone.

RedY2KS2k

I'm finding my intolerance for stupidity/incompetence becoming a hindrance in my job. Today, I got a call from someone who supports an application that sends a file to my application on a monthly basis. He wanted to run a test, and asked me which of two files in his system, neither named the same as the file I receive, he should send.

I wanted very much to say, "Come on, $%^&&&*, I can't see into your application. Get your head out of your #$% and look at your ftp job. Whichever file you put to my server is the one you should send me." Unfortunately, I need to whore out a few more dollars, so I had to be polite in the face of incompetence. And the kicker: he makes more money than I do. Prostitution sucks!!!

Kyras

^Once again, Jerry, you made me .

dean

I'm more than happy to help. Just let me know if you need any porcupines.

valentine

LOL. Dean, you crack me up!!! Jerry, your well-thought post was wonderful as are everyone's. This thread has been so carthartic that I'm seeing sunshine and butterflies all over the place today. I have other rants that I'm sure will find their way to this thread eventually about physicians, drugs, insurance companies and the ripoffs that come along with all of them, but I'm just wayyyy to overjoyed at knowing I'm not the only "curmudgeon" on the planet. Now I need to go post that word in Rob's words that make you feel old thread.

Tadashi

That's a great point. I think all to often we expect (and try to achieve) perfection in what we do, but it rarely, if ever happens that way, we feel bad about things and beat ourselves up.

I was angry with my parents for many years until I got older and realized they were screwed up people just like I was with issues like everyone has.

I tried to think about what choices I would have made if I had the (in my opinion) misfortune to become a parent in my late teens or early 20s.

That has helped with forgiving some of their decisions I felt hurt by. We all just have to try and do the best we can with what we have.

Tadashi

I know how that is.

I spend FAR more time explaining to people how the internet works than I ever get to spend programming <sigh>

raymo19

One mantra I'm trying to live by:

If my getting upset in any given situation won't affect the outcome then I'm not going to bother getting upset.

I am however considering a more curmudgeonly attitude based on this year's events.

ralper

Val,

I hope your hair turns out to be grey or even white. There is something enchanting and very sexy about a woman with grey hair. I'm not sure if its the color itself, or the statement being made, but I think women with grey hair are beautiful. Women with the self confidence to wear their hair natural are very, very sexy.

Please forgive me, I don't have the patience to read through this entire thread. I guess that's proof positive about having less patience as we get older. What I find funny is that for some things I have less patience (and sometimes none at all) than I used to have, yet for other things I seem to have much more patience than I had when I was younger.

I do understand how your pain helped to shape the amount of patience you have. I also know that since the economy turned so sour a lot of people are very short tempered, much more than before. And I think that as the political climate worsens people have less patience. A whole lot of other things have an effect too.

I've found that whereas I use to stand and fight, now I just walk away, not having the patience to participate in things I find disagreeable. I've found that my level of participation has decreased greatly as I've lost patience with the activity.

I don't know if all of this means I'm growing old, growing up, maturing, or just plain changing my outlook on life. All I do know is that I no longer have the time for things that bother me.