My Top ten pathetic reasons why my car is better than a girlfriend.
(and the remainder by the other members of the board)



1. My car doesn't give anyone else rides behind my back.
2. My car has a dashboard that tells me when it needs service.
3. My Car doesn't break-down seemingly once a day
4. I like the sound of my car screaming
5. My car looks better with its top down
6. I can always turn my car on
7. I can trade in my car for a younger model if i'm tired of it.
8. My car's curb weight never increases
9. My car never complains about how fast i drive.
10. My car has no problem giving me and another girl a ride simultaneously.
11. My car never has a headache
12. My car never hogs the covers
13. I have never held my car's purse at the mall.
14. My car likes it when I throw her into a corner.
15. Not everybody knows how to turn on said GF!
16. A car never has PMS!
17. My car moves faster than a GF.
18. My car never gets angry and leaves if I drive another car, or two other cars!
19. When my car screams, I KNOW she's not faking.
20. My car is responsive to my demands
21. My car knows when to be quiet and get to work
22. My car wont leave me and take half my money.
23. My doesnt need to be held after a hard ride and doesnt mind if I want to take a nap.
24. My car sits patiently in the gargage and is always ready to go when I am.
24. My S2000 doesn't mind if I caress or look at another S2000.
25. I don't have to call my S2000 every hour when I am on a business trip.
26. My S2000 doesn't get upset when I or anyone else talks about how "FAST" my "previously owned" cars were.
27. My s2000 has never "accidentally" hit me in the nuts.
28. My car knows the meaning of the word "blow"
When I purchase a new car, i'm not doing anything illegal.
29. I can have more than one car at the same time, and there won't be any repercussions.
30. I like it when people stare-at and obsess-over my car.
31. i can upgrade my car.
32. My car identifies with the techno-geek in me
33. When I take my car to 9000RPM's I don't have to remind her that I do it because I "love" her.
34. MY S2000 HAS NEVER LOOKED FAT IN ANYTHING!!!!
35. Mods for my car to improve IT'S looks are STILL cheaper than Jewlery, clothes and makeup to make HER look good. (or alcohol for you with REALLY ugly girlfriends)
36. My car dosen't get tired if I keep hitting VTEC all day long!
37. My car is leased with the OPTION to buy......
i.e. I am just using it, and it does not complain
38. my car isn't overly sensitive a week before an oil change
39. My car thinks a little gas is a good thing!
40. My S2000 doesn't get mad if I go out for a beer with the guys!
41. My S2000 will take me to a nudie bar and home, even after lap dances, and will still be there in the morning.
42. I could sleep IN my car, and it still wouldn't mind.
43. I am glad to give up half my money to my car.


I realized all this when I took my car up to yosemite last week. here's the pictures:
http://doempke.com/car/



here's a sample:

 

Amen, brother...

1 My car doesn't give anyone else rides behind my back.

hahaha...

The curb weight never increases...another important fact!




Beautiful pics...just make sure to take that front license plate off...

 

That was Great. But, my wife didn't see the humor.

 

I'm guesin' you were there alone?

 

I cant believe there are only ten reasons.

11. My car never has a headache
12. my car never hogs the covers
13. I have never held my car's purse at the mall.

 

14. My car likes it when I throw her into a corner.
15. Not everybody knows how to turn on said GF!
16. A car never has PMS!
17. My car moves faster than a GF.

 

AMEN!!!!

 

18. My car never gets angry and leaves if I drive another car, or two other cars!

 

19. When my car screams, I KNOW she's not faking.
(disclaimer: not that this pertains to any of MY ex-gfs. I'm just saying...)

 

We should always think of this one before we settle down

axcilla