Star Wars vs The Titanic
01-23-2002, 08:26 AM
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Star Wars vs The Titanic
Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic 
* The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
* Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
* Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material. Rose is just marriage bait.
* Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
* It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
* Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
* We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy 'cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun.
* Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? *NOTE* Is this a scary premonition: Anakin DeCaprio?
* Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
* There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
* If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
* Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
* Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
* Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
* We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father"?
* Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a minor character.
* When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of himself at the Oscars.
* Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband, 3) pose nude for pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated, 5) let undesirables drown.
Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess, 5) save planet.
* The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
* Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
* Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material. Rose is just marriage bait.
* Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
* It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
* Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
* We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy 'cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun.
* Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? *NOTE* Is this a scary premonition: Anakin DeCaprio?
* Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
* There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
* If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
* Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
* Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
* Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
* We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father"?
* Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a minor character.
* When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of himself at the Oscars.
* Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband, 3) pose nude for pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated, 5) let undesirables drown.
Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect all life even if it's ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess, 5) save planet.
01-23-2002, 05:28 PM
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Episodes 4-6 squash Titanic like it was stinky poo.
Episode 1 has a little more trouble winning out over the evil titanic psychology, but not much. Only because of Jar Jar. He gave Titanic a brief fighting chance.
You guys definitely need to watch the Special Edition Abyss if you want to see James Cameron at his best. Focus of story is TOTALLY altered from the theater release.
I command you to view the Director's Cut. See it with a girl you like, you will get some nookie afterwards.
Episode 1 has a little more trouble winning out over the evil titanic psychology, but not much. Only because of Jar Jar. He gave Titanic a brief fighting chance.
You guys definitely need to watch the Special Edition Abyss if you want to see James Cameron at his best. Focus of story is TOTALLY altered from the theater release.
I command you to view the Director's Cut. See it with a girl you like, you will get some nookie afterwards.
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01-24-2002, 02:02 PM
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Ok party people, I hate Titanic with a passion. Star Wars is king and here's why:
Titanic is UNORIGINAL. I repeat, UNORIGINAL!! Why is that? Because the Titanic movie simply takes a historical event (the launching and tragic sinking of the Titanic) and makes a movie out of it by throwing in a sappy love story. First of all, maybe there were some special effects in making the ship look real and the subsequent sinking and such, but come on, if we really wanted to learn more about the actual Titanic ship, we can watch a number of National Geographic documentaries on the subject, not to mention the many others that are out there. So how original is the movie anyway? Everyone knows about the Titanic, we've read about it in history books, we've seen the documentaries, read about it in National Geographic, among other magazines and literature. Ok so if not for the ship, people watched it for the love story part of it. But what was so great about the love story? Girl falls in love with poor boy. So what? How original of a love story is that? How cliche is this plot? How many times have we seen this plot in Hollywood. So now we've got an unoriginal, unintriguing love plot coupled with something that can be better presented by National Geographic, coupled with high dollar special effects that do not show us what the "real" ship looked like anyway (because afterall, its only a "rendition" an "artists perspective" of what the ship "would have" looked like). I'd rather see the deep sea photos taken by the subs that went down to the actual site in the ocean, or the blue prints from the original designers. In addition, can someone please remove the boogers from Celine Dion's nose before she sings, because I really can't stand that stuffed nasal voice she sings with. Finally, the ending is royally flawed because everyone knows two people could have fit on that piece of wood floating in the water.
NOW, Star Wars. A truly magnificent work. The story is not only original, it is intriguing, invokes imagination, and colorful. For 70's standards, the effects were ground shaking. Until then, there were not too many special effects sci-fi/fantasy movies. The movie presented ideas, characters, places, and images that were so new and unique to everyone that to this day there is an immense cult following. Lucas is a genius. To release a series of three movies over the span of 6-7 years, only to have it start from the 3rd part in the series of 6 episodes, AND THEN, nearly 15 years later, releasing the first three episodes over the span of another 5 or so years is truly a dynamically original and innovative idea. Lets not even talk about the actual movies, the strategic is release of all six films, starting with first Star Wars, is a movie making, story telling, and even marketing masterpiece.
Alright, so maybe its not fair to compare drama movies to sci-fi/fantasy movies. But in its own categories, I don't think the love story in Titanic is that much greater than many other love stories that Hollywood has dished out. Its not original, its not intriguing, its not inventive, and its actually quite bland. Ok, if not for the love story, then for the ship, but hey, countless documentaries and history briefs have already told us more than enough about the ship before the movie ever came out. There's nothing new there. But Star Wars, its more than a movie...its a religion.
Titanic is UNORIGINAL. I repeat, UNORIGINAL!! Why is that? Because the Titanic movie simply takes a historical event (the launching and tragic sinking of the Titanic) and makes a movie out of it by throwing in a sappy love story. First of all, maybe there were some special effects in making the ship look real and the subsequent sinking and such, but come on, if we really wanted to learn more about the actual Titanic ship, we can watch a number of National Geographic documentaries on the subject, not to mention the many others that are out there. So how original is the movie anyway? Everyone knows about the Titanic, we've read about it in history books, we've seen the documentaries, read about it in National Geographic, among other magazines and literature. Ok so if not for the ship, people watched it for the love story part of it. But what was so great about the love story? Girl falls in love with poor boy. So what? How original of a love story is that? How cliche is this plot? How many times have we seen this plot in Hollywood. So now we've got an unoriginal, unintriguing love plot coupled with something that can be better presented by National Geographic, coupled with high dollar special effects that do not show us what the "real" ship looked like anyway (because afterall, its only a "rendition" an "artists perspective" of what the ship "would have" looked like). I'd rather see the deep sea photos taken by the subs that went down to the actual site in the ocean, or the blue prints from the original designers. In addition, can someone please remove the boogers from Celine Dion's nose before she sings, because I really can't stand that stuffed nasal voice she sings with. Finally, the ending is royally flawed because everyone knows two people could have fit on that piece of wood floating in the water.
NOW, Star Wars. A truly magnificent work. The story is not only original, it is intriguing, invokes imagination, and colorful. For 70's standards, the effects were ground shaking. Until then, there were not too many special effects sci-fi/fantasy movies. The movie presented ideas, characters, places, and images that were so new and unique to everyone that to this day there is an immense cult following. Lucas is a genius. To release a series of three movies over the span of 6-7 years, only to have it start from the 3rd part in the series of 6 episodes, AND THEN, nearly 15 years later, releasing the first three episodes over the span of another 5 or so years is truly a dynamically original and innovative idea. Lets not even talk about the actual movies, the strategic is release of all six films, starting with first Star Wars, is a movie making, story telling, and even marketing masterpiece.
Alright, so maybe its not fair to compare drama movies to sci-fi/fantasy movies. But in its own categories, I don't think the love story in Titanic is that much greater than many other love stories that Hollywood has dished out. Its not original, its not intriguing, its not inventive, and its actually quite bland. Ok, if not for the love story, then for the ship, but hey, countless documentaries and history briefs have already told us more than enough about the ship before the movie ever came out. There's nothing new there. But Star Wars, its more than a movie...its a religion.
01-24-2002, 09:21 PM
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it took me an hour to read that...
If you want to see fanatical devotion to star wars, see Jaykkub's thread "WOW!!" from yesterday... it's simply unbelievable that someone would put so much time into something.
talk about a die hard fan!
If you want to see fanatical devotion to star wars, see Jaykkub's thread "WOW!!" from yesterday... it's simply unbelievable that someone would put so much time into something.
talk about a die hard fan!