Sailor walks into a bar by the docks. It's his regular haunt at his port-of-call so the bartender knows him. The sailor is the spitting image of the stereotypical pirate - peg leg, hook for a hand and an eye patch.

The bartender does a double-take.

"Phil! What happened? You had all your limbs when you left 6 months ago." He inquires.

"Arrgh Matey!" replies the sailor. "There's a story there."

"Arrgh? What the hell is that about?"

"Sorry, I've been getting into the habit, everyone on board has been giving me no end of shit since the accidents."

"AccidentS? More than one? This I gotta hear."

"Well, first was the leg. Had a huge haul, but the net got stuck on the way up, so I jumped down to free it up and slipped into the water. A Great White got me leg before I could get back aboard."

"Ouch! Damn you're lucky to be alive."

"Don't I know it. Anyway, a month later we're in warmer waters, I'm being careful to stay on board now, mind you, but I'm reaching down to pull up the net, and another shark (just a little thresher) leaps up and takes me hand."

"Holy crap! What a run of luck."

"So, two days later, we're working on another haul --"

"-- oh, no, not another shark getting your eye!?"

"Oh no, a seagull."

"A seagull? You're having me on, seagulls don't pluck a mans eyes out. That's ravens. And only when you're dead."

"Oh no, it was a seagull. He was flying overhead and crapped right in my eye."

"Bird crap won't take an eye out."

"But it was me first day with the hook...."

 

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