The Raptor's Annual Christmas Rant
#1
The Raptor's Annual Christmas Rant
My birthday is Christmas. The dual purpose gift was invented for me. When I was a little kid I would get a nice Christmas gift and Christmas card. Inside the card would be taped a stale, cracked (usually green) jellybean. Underneath the jellybean was written (in thebarely legible penmanship of an obviously inebriated person): "Oh, yeah, by the way, Happy Birthday, you little asshole."
#4
I once was at the post office sending a package. I had to show the postal worker behind the counter ID. He said "Oh, a Christmas baby!" I replied "Yeah, the worst day of the year to have a birthday." He said "Nope, mine's worse, December 26. Nobody wants to celebrate anything -- ever!" I replied "OK, you got me."
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