The Lawyer
10-23-2000 | 06:15 AM
#1
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From: St. Pete, Florida
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!!!"
10-23-2000 | 06:29 AM
#2
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From: Midlothian
Lawyer joke II
Satan gets tired of people sneeking out of hell and going in to heaven.
So Satan puts up a fence.
God looks down an sees the fence and gets really mad.
He tells Satan the fence is on heavens property line and that he has to move the fence.
Satan says no I am not moving the fence and there is nothing you can do about it.
God,really angry at this point says if you don't move the fence I will sue you.
Now Satan just cracks up laughing and rolling on the ground.
God says what's so funny.
And Satan replies with teary eyes where are you gonna get a Lawyer.
Satan gets tired of people sneeking out of hell and going in to heaven.
So Satan puts up a fence.
God looks down an sees the fence and gets really mad.
He tells Satan the fence is on heavens property line and that he has to move the fence.
Satan says no I am not moving the fence and there is nothing you can do about it.
God,really angry at this point says if you don't move the fence I will sue you.
Now Satan just cracks up laughing and rolling on the ground.
God says what's so funny.
And Satan replies with teary eyes where are you gonna get a Lawyer.
10-23-2000 | 12:46 PM
#3
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 212
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From: Montreal
Lawyer joke III
Two lawyers from the firm Dewey, Scrooem & Howe are stranded on a deserted island. They manage to survive and keep a dayly lookout for any passing ships or planes.
One day, after about 6 months, they see something gently bobbing in the waves. As it gets closer they see it is human being. They swim out, realize it a beautiful, young woman who seems to be still alive, drag her back to shore. She is naked, alive, yet unconscious. The first lawyer turns and says to the second, "We've been stranded here for so long, do you think we should, you know, scr!w her?" The second lawyer responds with a surprised look, "Out of what?"
Two lawyers from the firm Dewey, Scrooem & Howe are stranded on a deserted island. They manage to survive and keep a dayly lookout for any passing ships or planes.
One day, after about 6 months, they see something gently bobbing in the waves. As it gets closer they see it is human being. They swim out, realize it a beautiful, young woman who seems to be still alive, drag her back to shore. She is naked, alive, yet unconscious. The first lawyer turns and says to the second, "We've been stranded here for so long, do you think we should, you know, scr!w her?" The second lawyer responds with a surprised look, "Out of what?"
Now dat dere is some funny stuff.
10-23-2000 | 04:22 PM
#6
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 2,670
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From: Santa Monica, CA
I can't lock this since I'm not a moderator for this forum, but as funny as these jokes might be, they can also be highly offensive. Can we please try to be a little more respectful?
Jay
Jay
