May be a kid joke but i thought it was a nice little giggle

A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until reaches heavily into the ground with a hard knock over his shell.After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.The little turtle insisted again and again after each knock, while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, looking the turtle with pain..suddenly the female bird says to the male: "Hey dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."

 

A man riding his s2000 was riding along a California beach when
suddenly
the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The young fella pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride
over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think
of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports
required to reach The bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The young fella thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish
that I and all men could understand our wives(girlfriends); I want to know how she
feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment,
why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can
make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

 

we should start a joke thread.

 

 

WOW what an original idea. I'll bet that hasn't been done before.

 

i saw it from honda-tech and just figured it be a great idea to have one here.

 

I was just teasing. There have been tons of joke threads here.

 

Who's the Boss?

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude change