The problem with that is that you are looking at things not by todays standards. Do you know what the divorce rate today in america is? Its a little under 50%!
What do you think the other 50% are doing? Half of them are not happy. The other half are the sane ones!
Thats around 25% peepz!

 

Let me guess - you're unmarried as well?

You're throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Know what the divorce rate is among born-again Christians? At least one study rated it at under 30%, others have ranged even lower (I quoted the highest I found).

I don't want to turn this into a debate no marriage but show me a real couple and I can show you real love.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonBoy

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by brantshali

 

JonBoy,

Don't worry, I'm not offended. A bit excited, maybe, but far from offended...so far.

I understand and respect your belief of the sanctity of marriage. As for dismissing my relationships...as much as you think you weren't...you were. You stated in no uncertain terms (unless I grossly misinterpreted) that I didn't feel strongly about my relationship because if I had I would have married her. On the contrary, I felt so strongly about it that I didn't NEED to be married to make it strong.

Just because you are legally bound by marriage doesn't make your relationship stronger. It's about the commitment that you feel.

Again you make a judgement about my relationship. You seem to say that only in marriage can I be financially and emotionally committed to the other person. You seem to once again be falling back on a legal commitment. I was JUST as committed to my girlfriend which could explain why there are tens of thousands of my dollars that are no longer in my possession...because they have been spent doing the right thing and supporting the woman I was in a committed relationship with. Unlike some people, I didn't need a church or a judge to require me to support her...I did it because I was fully committed to her.

I have NO problem with your beliefs (and actually share many of them, I'm sure), but I DO have a problem with you apparently demeaning what other people do by implying that you have the sole understanding of what is good and moral.

Thus far you have couched much of your perspective in the argument that marriage is good and all else is less. You dismiss behavior outside a marriage as bad or immoral or less pure when the EXACT SAME acts within a marriage are "meeting a need for your partner."

While I respect your right to your opinion, I guess I'm just intrigued how such an enlightened perspective can be so hypocritical...?

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by brantshali
JonBoy,

Don't worry, I'm not offended.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonBoy
Know what the divorce rate is among born-again Christians?

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonBoy

 

JonBoy,

I won't quote you, because it's simply making our posts too long. That said, I realize you didn't say I didn't feel strongly, but by implying that by not committing to marriage I didn't feel as strongly about that relationship as you do about mine simply makes too many assumptions about too many variables.

And, your point that marriage REQUIRES you to behave in a certain way while it is optional for those of us outside marriage only furthers my point that my relationship was just as strong...because I didn't NEED someone or something to tell me how to act the right way. I just did it.

I'm still not sure how being "forced" to act a certain way makes your relationship stronger than mine...seems to me it actually implies that it's weaker?!

I know you don't intend to demean me or my relationships. I guess what did it was that rather than couching some of your arguments as opinion you seemed to state them as an impirical fact. I agree that it is your OPINION that marriage is the highest form of relationship and that all else is a lesser form of relationship, but that is your OPINION and not a fact. As soon as you make assertions like "how could you disagree?" or that I "haven't felt strongly enough" or that I "didn't love that person enough" you are passing a judgement. That is a decidedly un-Christian thing to do.

 

Condoning an act for one group of people whilst condemning it for another is only hypocritical if the circumstances or conditions are substantially equivalent. JonBoy's contention--a valid one--is that the circumstances and conditions of being married are substantially different than those of being unmarried. You may disagree with the conclusion that sex is proper in the former and improper in the latter, but that conclusion cannot accurately be described as hypocritical.