book talk: sexploitation by matt fitzgerald
01-28-2007, 06:32 PM
#61
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rubyrashel-
there is a reason that you can not find a dude. if you lived in bfe i would cut you some slack, but you live in a major us metropolitan. all men have some superficiality within them, so the fact that you only attract bad apples says more about you than it does them.
i think instead of pointing the finger at those(guys) around you, you should take a look inward. i know some of the shit you post has occassionally led me to believe that you could possibly be stuck up. just a guess tho'.
...and who wants to date a stuck up chic? you're just askin to get treated like shit.
there is a reason that you can not find a dude. if you lived in bfe i would cut you some slack, but you live in a major us metropolitan. all men have some superficiality within them, so the fact that you only attract bad apples says more about you than it does them.
i think instead of pointing the finger at those(guys) around you, you should take a look inward. i know some of the shit you post has occassionally led me to believe that you could possibly be stuck up. just a guess tho'.
...and who wants to date a stuck up chic? you're just askin to get treated like shit.
01-28-2007, 06:34 PM
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Wow. You (GT 2003)'re gonna need an awfully tall ladder to climb down from that soapbox. You don't know the guys Ruby's dated (I assume). But, you seem awfully invested in assuming a lot about someone you've never met. Seems to me that a reasonable person would just assume she's dated some people that didn't appeal to her (not too hard to imagine) and is now expressing frustration with past dating experiences. I would guess that lotsa people have found themselves in similar situations. I, for one, can appreciate a desire to find an intelligent and professionally like-minded partner. It's worked for me.
01-28-2007, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by GT_2003,Jan 28 2007, 09:08 PM
you want the perfect package, and since you are only 21, you think this exists somewhere but are admittedly having a problem finding it.
The guy working at Chili's for the past five years may not have what *you* call ambition, but he at least has demonstrated an ability to stick with something for a period of time despite no obvious rewards on the level you are looking for. That says more about his work ethic and reliability than it indicts his character. You'll learn that down the road, perhaps. He make not make bank, but might enjoy his job, the freedom it gives him, and the people he works with, which might mean more to him than impressing some grad student with her nose in the air. The guy could end up running his own restaurant, making a good living and being responsible for the livelihood of many people. But if you aren't willing to stick around, it isn't him that is lacking something.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who shares your interests, background, and motivations. But there is something wrong with holding yourself to be better than other people simply because they didn't make the same choices or have the same opportunities you have.
It's especially short-sighted to assume that you are the only one going any place in life. The people you see working "dead-end jobs" have dreams and aspirations they might or might not acheive. But writing them off because you only see them where they are *today* isn't a sign of wisdom. If you've ever worked a day in your life, you know that quite often people's jobs quite often aren't the sum total of their worth.
The guy working at Chili's for the past five years may not have what *you* call ambition, but he at least has demonstrated an ability to stick with something for a period of time despite no obvious rewards on the level you are looking for. That says more about his work ethic and reliability than it indicts his character. You'll learn that down the road, perhaps. He make not make bank, but might enjoy his job, the freedom it gives him, and the people he works with, which might mean more to him than impressing some grad student with her nose in the air. The guy could end up running his own restaurant, making a good living and being responsible for the livelihood of many people. But if you aren't willing to stick around, it isn't him that is lacking something.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who shares your interests, background, and motivations. But there is something wrong with holding yourself to be better than other people simply because they didn't make the same choices or have the same opportunities you have.
It's especially short-sighted to assume that you are the only one going any place in life. The people you see working "dead-end jobs" have dreams and aspirations they might or might not acheive. But writing them off because you only see them where they are *today* isn't a sign of wisdom. If you've ever worked a day in your life, you know that quite often people's jobs quite often aren't the sum total of their worth.
01-29-2007, 05:24 AM
#65
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Originally Posted by rubyrashel,Jan 26 2007, 12:57 AM
Buy maybe your right, maybe Im on a high horse in thinking of myself as intelligent.
the high-horse remark was about your overall expectations.....
and let's be clear, you can have great expectations, but make sure you can meet a prospective guys high expectations as well....it works both ways, unless someone just wants a "trophy" wife or "fuk buddy".
01-29-2007, 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by rubyrashel,Jan 28 2007, 06:22 PM
I really couldnt have put it better myself. OF COURSE personality, being a gentlemen, having respet, good manners, sense of humor, I could go on...
01-29-2007, 08:06 AM
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The bottom line is really have to make an effort to meet people halfway. It's fine to have an ideal, but ideals don't exist in reality. If you aren't willing to compromise with your mate, you won't have one 
01-29-2007, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by bjohnston,Jan 28 2007, 07:36 PM
Damn. Rough crowd.
amen to that. i love how when i post stuff about my "underachieving, really nice/friendly, but not so bright" boyfriend, everyone jumped on me about how women only like to date the "bad boys / partiers," and cracked jokes about how he probably works construction/manual labor. THEN, in this thread, the other half of the guys on the board jump on ruby because she posts that she'd like to date a well educated / intelligent guy, calling her "elitist," "stuck-up," and insinuating that she's a gold digger.
which one is it guys?! are women stupid because we ALL date low lifes and "bad boy" types? or are women stupid because we're ALL stuck-up bitches who only want to date doctors? in both cases some of the boys on this board made some highly-contrasting UNIVERSAL statements about women.ruby has STANDARDS. something which many women lack, unfortunately. why do you think there are so many single mothers out there with a whole roost of kids and no money to feed them? i'm sure ruby wouldn't date a guy simply for the fact that he is well-educated, there's obviously other key elements that need to be present: personality, looks (he'd have to be somewhat attractive to her, no?), compatibility, shared interests, etc. the reason ruby has emphasized the fact that she'd like to meet a well educated / intelligent guy is probably because it's the key element that seems to be lacking most from the guys she's dated. it's better to have high standards than none at all.
last time i checked... STANDARDS = good. lack of standards = bad.
