esracer

Isn't all that straightforward though, no games, from what you said, he just wanted to f**K. right or wrong?

rubyrashel

your right, this guy was straightfoward, kinda. I can't say Im an angel either thought, guys like a challenge just like girls. BUt being a challenge doesnt mean being an asshole.

rubyrashel

[QUOTE=esracer,Jan 24 2007, 02:26 AM] Isn't all that straightforward though, no games, from what you said, he just wanted to f**K.

esracer

right, it doesn't mean being an asshole, but you see is challenging the right things is what girls tend to warp, like you would expect, a Guy going off to college leaving his girl behind, she is going to transfer to the same college the next semester, ok here's the challenge, she breaks up with him because she's selfish and wants to protect herself. Guy is nice, not an asshole and keeps things going (after 3.5 years) at the end of the summer she say's "wait for me, don't forget me" so he does what he was planning to do during that semester, come home almost twice a month. Now he does that throughout the semester, he was exceptionally nice, considered overly nice? or just truly a nice guy? He waits for her thinking that doing all that would strengthen the realationship, does it? no, she leaves him for some other guy about a month into the semester. Now here's the question If he said he wasn't coming home, he would be blasted for being a jerk, but being nice, didn't get anywhere either.


trust me i feel like an idiot going through all that


I guess what i'm trying to say is that girls have a way of controlling, you're too nice they lose interest, you do something to "protect" yourself you're considered an a**hole, now personally i hate being called that by a girl cause i'm not, but you called one then you think i need to be nicer, but yet, you get screwed for being two nice. It just keeps going around and around

C_Unit

boys are cheaters. they think with their penises. (penii, haha... what is the plural for penis?)

girls are manipulative. they use sex to control men.

you could argue for either side until you're blue in the face but it won't get you very far. a lot of men are dirtbags and a lot of women are bitches. in the end it's just about finding the exception... right?

i sense a lot of bitterness towards women on this board....? i wonder what it's about? in another thread i mentioned something about my "not so bright, but still very nice" boyfriend. a couple guys got on me about how i only like him because he's a bad boy, and why do women always go for the wrong guy? etc.

my boyfriend isn't a "bad boy." i'm actually very turned off by the whole "bad boy" thing, and my ultimate standard for any guy i date is whether or not my very old-fashioned/traditional mom likes him. believe it or not, there are females who LIKE genuinely nice guys.

but i will say this, if you act like a bitch, a girl will treat you like her bitch. if you are TOO NICE to me, to the point where it's demeaning to you, i will A.) be annoyed by you, B.) be creeped out by you, C.) know that you're a pushover and probably use it to my advantage, or D.) all of the above. you just have to realize that there is a fine line between being a polite gentleman and being a little bitch, and then act accordingly.

think of it like this... boys want sex. if you meet a girl who talks dirty to you, wears slutty revealing clothes, and grabs your junk on your first date, you're going to think she's easy. you're going to A.) be turned off by how slutty she is, figure she has the Herps and run for the hills, or B.) know that you're getting laid that night, probably not make much effort to impress her or be a gentleman. no need to put on airs, she's a sure bet, right?

now let's put this same situation in the context of what women want. women want control. we want men to pamper us, buy us things, and treat us like a princess. i meet a guy and the first date he won't stop telling me how amazing i am, he trips over himself to open doors, he tries too hard to impress me, the next day he calls me 5 x's, he wants to go out again... i am going to A.) be turned off by how hard this guy is trying and what seems to be his lack of social skills and self respect, or B.) know that he's a kiss-ass pushover and keep him around cause i know somehow he'll come in handy for free dinners, flowers, and a convenient ego boost.

both situations are exagerated of course, but all of us know the slutty girl and the guy that tries way too hard to impress women. if you turned the man who chose A in the 1st situation into a woman, he'd probably end up choosing A in the 2nd situation as well. same with the man who'd choose B... the opportunist. gold diggers are just "opportunist."

dyhppy

ruby, sorry you had to pay for such a crappy date, but the thing is that the way you talk about the guy and by saying ur over him, makes it sound like ur not. im sorry if im wrong. ive heard it countless times where a girl won't stop talking about how annoying or a jerk a certain guy is and how much she can't stand him, but who did she just spend 30 mins talking about? and somehow, she'll still answer his call when he calls.

c unit, ur right that both sexes have their issues. i was thinking that if women weren't gold diggers by genetics, than the human race may not have survived. if they were back in the stone age and chose the nice guys, we'd prob have gone extinct. it is not surprise that our genetics have not caught up to our modern society, but it doesn't make the sting go away.

the thing that is annoying is when women are in denial about what they are. usually, if a guy is a jerk, he admits it and is happy that girls, for some reason, like his sorry butt. but women are scary in how insidious they can be. you admit that they want to control a man. that's freaky.

bottomline, women are smarter than men when it comes to head games and we honestly can't pick up on your long term plans. and by the time the ring is on the finger, the dumb guy didn't even know what hit him. how sad is that after marriage-loss of sex phenomenon, etc.

i appreciate the calm discussion and thanks for your input.

wizard8100

The trouble is, if a woman did the same thing as that man, order drinks that she could not pay for, expected certain considerations, and then insisted on sex afterwards, or insisted on not having sex afterward, it would be considered normal.

The other factor about men is that yes, you can consider most of them jerks, but then most people would believe you. When a woman abuses a man, it is almost impossible for anyone to believe that he "let it happen to himself." Yet most of the people in disbelieve are the very ones enabling that woman to be abusive.

A woman can steal, cheat, lie, commit a crime, and be mentally and even physically abusive, but all she has to do is blame it all on the man that she is with, and it is all ok because she is believed. Even when it is proved beyond a doubt that she is a lying cheat, she is still believed. "Some of it must be true." I called my ex-wife to take issue with the medical needs of our children and I was given 2 weeks in the county lock up for "harassment." She still, 3 years later, calls my cell phone to yell, tried to lie her way into accessing my bank account, committed welfare fraud, physically attacked me once, vandalized my car, and sends harassing letters through the mail. What does the local prosecutor do? Suggests mediation, because, after all, she is my ex-wife, and may still be bitter about the divorce.

I agree with the book. Men beware and watch yourself. If a woman meets an abuser, he can be put in jail. If a man meets an abusive woman, HE can be put in jail.

And some women wonder why so many men are afraid to commit these days.....

gotrice02

sayrice02? lol. ruby, I just think you have bad luck..If I were the supra dude I would have surely paid the bill, no questions. When a man takes a woman out he should pay for everything on a first "date" and make her feel comfortable. If the situation is casual, the woman can be cool be buying a round of shots or something to show appreciation. In my opinion, "first dates" are too formal, I'd rather take a chick to a martini bar where we can drink, keep it casual and generate some carnal sexual tension.

C_Unit

they do that to everyone. male or female, at least in my experience. when i broke up with high school sweetheart / ex-fiance, he became very very unstable & crazy. he broke into my house... i got a text message at 3am that read: "turn around," so i turn around and there he is standing in my kitchen. i told him i was calling the police and he ran out through my garage when i picked up the phone. the police got there and kept asking me: "are you sure you didn't let him in?...." "if you let him in, we want you to be honest." "now crystal, we know you're scared, but just tell us if you let him in." i was absolutely appalled. this dude had just broken into my house and they were too stupid to figure out HOW, so they just assumed that i was being a dumb bitch and crying wolf.

they didn't believe me until i went out to my garage the next morning and discovered that my CD player in my car was missing... then i get a threatening voicemail saying that i need to come see him to get my CD player back, and how he was going to make me sorry for breaking up with him, among other things. i had them listen to my voicemail and they apologized to me. but that wasn't even the first instance - he followed me around town, called me 62 times in the span of 2 hrs., threatened guys i was dating, waited outside my work, hacked into my e-mail, stole my cell phone, etc. and the police always assumed that i was somehow leading him on and then crying wolf when it was convenient.

dyhppy

that ex wife story is scary. the book is extremely biased in that it has an entire section devoted to horror stories with women.

i personally think both sexes are blame-worthy, but most of all, our society is messed up. it's like we should love and help each other, but because of media, overpopulation, competition, we fight with each other to get the upper hand. it's so sad that we have to be so cautious around each other when it could just be relaxed and fun. this is prob more prevalant in big cities as opposed to rural areas.