Apologize for something that was 15 years ago?
05-10-2007 | 09:19 AM
#1
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From: Nashville
Apologize for something that was 15 years ago?
hypothetical situation. 
someone acted like a total asshole drunk and said jerk things, probably hurt some people's feelings, acted immature, etc..... (nothing like me)....
Then you see a couple of those people 15 years later because they just happen to live in the same area as you.
anyway... do you apologize for your assholioness of the past or not? It would be a relief to apologize, but people are married now, have kids, etc... does it really mean anything 15 years later?
the results could range from appreciative of the apology, or it could backfire and bring up bad memories and anger the person(s)..
just curious what your feelings would be in this hypothetical situation.
someone acted like a total asshole drunk and said jerk things, probably hurt some people's feelings, acted immature, etc..... (nothing like me)....
Then you see a couple of those people 15 years later because they just happen to live in the same area as you.
anyway... do you apologize for your assholioness of the past or not? It would be a relief to apologize, but people are married now, have kids, etc... does it really mean anything 15 years later?
the results could range from appreciative of the apology, or it could backfire and bring up bad memories and anger the person(s)..
just curious what your feelings would be in this hypothetical situation.
05-10-2007 | 09:26 AM
#4
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From: SJC
The danger of apology is the situation you mention.
You have to guage each situation accordingly.
I have a musician acquaintance of mine who's writing his PhD. thesis on this. Don't make me ask him for the graphs and charts. (seriously, there's graphs and charts)
You have to guage each situation accordingly.
I have a musician acquaintance of mine who's writing his PhD. thesis on this. Don't make me ask him for the graphs and charts.
(seriously, there's graphs and charts)
05-10-2007 | 09:27 AM
#5
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From: Dallas, TX
Originally Posted by Scot,May 10 2007, 11:19 AM
hypothetical situation.
someone acted like a total asshole drunk and said jerk things, probably hurt some people's feelings, acted immature, etc..... (nothing like me)....
someone acted like a total asshole drunk and said jerk things, probably hurt some people's feelings, acted immature, etc..... (nothing like me)....
05-10-2007 | 09:36 AM
#7
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From: Los Angeles, Left Coast
My take is that as long as it is not going to hurt THEM, you should do it, and not worry about if they are sympathetic or not. It clears YOUR side of the street.
And take our anti-assholiness meds.
And take our anti-assholiness meds.
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05-10-2007 | 09:50 AM
#8
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From: Columbus
Nothing wrong with saying something like "In my younger days I did/said some things that i'm not proud of. I've changed and I hope you forgive me if I hurt or offended you"
I have experience at this
I have experience at this
05-10-2007 | 09:50 AM
#9
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From: Beaverton
Perhaps an option is to say hi and acknowledge how much people and things have changed in a round about way, then move the conversation to something else so they don't feel awkward (talk about your kids their kids etc ?) ... they'll catch the drift of what you're really saying.