Upstate Owners village.
08-26-2014, 08:35 AM
#698
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arms and says, "I'll have a beer and one for the road"
Two cannibals were eating a clown, One says to the other, "does this taste funny to you"
"Doc, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home'' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is that common?" "Well, It's not unusual"
An invisible man marries and invisible woman. the kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, and couldn't find any
I went to a seafood disco the other night and pulled a mussel
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam"
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted
Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly the craft sank, proving once again that you can't have your Kayak and heat it to
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs. The Doctor replied, " I know you can't, I cut off your arms"
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal" The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished that she also had a picture of "Ahmal". Her husband responds!," they're twins, once you have seen Juan, you've Ahmal
Two cows are standing next to each other in the field. Daisy, says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning", "I don't believe you", say's Dolly. "It's true, No Bull, say's Dolly"
There was a person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made his rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. ( Oh man this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But Why", they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer"
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arms and says, "I'll have a beer and one for the road"
Two cannibals were eating a clown, One says to the other, "does this taste funny to you"
"Doc, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home'' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is that common?" "Well, It's not unusual"
An invisible man marries and invisible woman. the kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, and couldn't find any
I went to a seafood disco the other night and pulled a mussel
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam"
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted
Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly the craft sank, proving once again that you can't have your Kayak and heat it to
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs. The Doctor replied, " I know you can't, I cut off your arms"
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal" The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished that she also had a picture of "Ahmal". Her husband responds!," they're twins, once you have seen Juan, you've Ahmal
Two cows are standing next to each other in the field. Daisy, says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning", "I don't believe you", say's Dolly. "It's true, No Bull, say's Dolly"
There was a person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made his rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. ( Oh man this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But Why", they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer"
