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Problems with wife software

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Old 06-16-2009, 11:43 AM
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Default Problems with wife software

Dear Tech Support:

Years ago I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as Happy Hour 64, Golf 2.3, Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. Girlfriend 7.0 ran smoothly with all of these applications. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.



REPLY:

Dear Troubled User,
This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Installed!

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGISE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!


WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 36.24. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Ps. Some users have been successful with Wife 1.2 or even Wife 1.3, however, I do not recommend unless you read the owner's manual first.
Old 06-16-2009, 01:19 PM
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I remember this from when it was on dial-up
Old 06-16-2009, 01:57 PM
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I think I saw the original of that chiselled onto a tablet in a museum
Old 06-16-2009, 02:16 PM
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That's older than Billys virginity
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