Has it got jaw ache?

Or a ring problem?

Or maybe it needs adjusting!

 

I hope you mean lynched! No will only come to Arran with good wholesome Scottish jokes - the Big Yin will be proud of them!


Have you got a good Haggis supplier on Arran? I used to get mine from Strathaven or Dumfries but thay may not be there now!

 

Here are a few jokes about those haggis eating, bag pipe playing Scots who are tighter then a fat mans trousers. I hope that you enjoy these jokes.

We do have to be careful about stereotyping the Scots as mean.
The other day there was a letter in the in the paper from an angry Glaswegian. It said "If you print any more jokes about Scotsmen, I will have to stop borrowing your paper.

(Q) Why do Scots have double glazed windows?
(A) So their kids can't hear the ice cream vans!!!

(Q) How are Scots and crime alike?
(A) Neither of them pay!!!

(Q) Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
(A) So the sheep don't hear the zip!!!

(Q) Why do Scots refuse to have refrigerators?
(A) They don't believe the light will go out when they close the door!!!

(Q) What is the difference between a Scot and a coconut?
(A) You can always get a drink out of a coconut!!!

(Q) Why do Scotsmen never have their tea the way they like it?
(A) Well, they like it with two lumps of sugar, but if they drink it at home, they only take one lump, and if they drink it while visiting, they always take three lumps!!!


Scotsman to Taxi driver: "How much is it to the airport?"
Taxi driver: "that'll be

 

Ian - if that's how the aard vark is doing, how is the pansy ass softie vark doing?

 

This thread is about aardvarks not Haggis

 

Gosh - Oh - Golly - Gee - I'm catching Essogirl's disease!

 

Feathers, was your dad involved in the theft of Bob Monkhouse's 'gag books'? Has he kept a copy? His 'jokes' have that same 'not quite' feel about them.

 

My jokes are NOT jokes - they are wittycisms! Got loads of Black Country jokes for those who can read the dialect!