My aardvark is at death's door
04-16-2004 | 04:50 AM
#5
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,829
Likes: 1
From: Llandudno
Aardvark Jokes
Fred and Bob shared a cage for their two pet aardvarks. So that they could tell which was which, they tied a red ribbon around Fred's aardvark's neck.
But one day when they went to play with their aardvarks the ribbon had fallen off. "How shall we tell the aardvarks apart now?" said Bob.
Fred thought for a while. "I know!" he said. "You have the dark brown aardvark, and I'll have the sandy coloured one!"
A man tried to sell his neighbour an aardvark, promising that it could talk, but his neighbour refused to believe him. Suddenly the aardvark spoke. "Please buy me," the aardvark pleaded. "My owner is cruel and never feeds me, even though I'm the most clever aardvark in the world."
"So he can talk!" exclaimed the neighbour. "Why on earth would you want to sell such an amazing creature?"
"Because he tells such awful lies..."
Little Boy: "Dad, what would happen if I stole that aardvark?"
Father: "You'd go to prison, son."
Little Boy: "Oh! You wouldn't forget to feed him while I was away, would you?"
A huge elephant was stomping across the country when he came across an aardvark in his path.
"You've very small," the elephant said fiercely.
"Well, I've been ill," replied the aardvark.
Why did you put this aardvark in your sister's bed?
I couldn't find a mouse.
Vet: Give three teaspoonfuls of this to your aardvark every night.
Person: But I've only got one teaspoon.
What have all eighteenth century aardvarks got in common?
They are all dead.
I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him?
I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite?
That's what I want to find out.
I call my aardvark Camera.
He's always snapping.
What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail?
A man holding an aardvark.
Fred and Bob shared a cage for their two pet aardvarks. So that they could tell which was which, they tied a red ribbon around Fred's aardvark's neck.
But one day when they went to play with their aardvarks the ribbon had fallen off. "How shall we tell the aardvarks apart now?" said Bob.
Fred thought for a while. "I know!" he said. "You have the dark brown aardvark, and I'll have the sandy coloured one!"
A man tried to sell his neighbour an aardvark, promising that it could talk, but his neighbour refused to believe him. Suddenly the aardvark spoke. "Please buy me," the aardvark pleaded. "My owner is cruel and never feeds me, even though I'm the most clever aardvark in the world."
"So he can talk!" exclaimed the neighbour. "Why on earth would you want to sell such an amazing creature?"
"Because he tells such awful lies..."
Little Boy: "Dad, what would happen if I stole that aardvark?"
Father: "You'd go to prison, son."
Little Boy: "Oh! You wouldn't forget to feed him while I was away, would you?"
A huge elephant was stomping across the country when he came across an aardvark in his path.
"You've very small," the elephant said fiercely.
"Well, I've been ill," replied the aardvark.
Why did you put this aardvark in your sister's bed?
I couldn't find a mouse.
Vet: Give three teaspoonfuls of this to your aardvark every night.
Person: But I've only got one teaspoon.
What have all eighteenth century aardvarks got in common?
They are all dead.
I've got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him?
I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly. Does it bite?
That's what I want to find out.
I call my aardvark Camera.
He's always snapping.
What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail?
A man holding an aardvark.
