I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

 

Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

 

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

 

are you doing in here mike?!?!

 

Deep Thoughts-by Jack Handy!

 

OOOOOO... i c. are these deep thoughts your own? or are they jacks?

 

All Jacks, I wish I was that creative I am just a sheep

 

you better stay clear of james in that case...

 

Stellar advice.

Holy shite stains, Mikey! Musta' been a pretty slow day today, eh?

Good stuff.