seat. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of Jim Beam was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied "My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and a lack of bathing." The drunk muttered "Well, I'll be damned" and returned to his newspaper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk relpied "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

 

 

what does besotted mean?

 

 

Shitfaced.

 

Me?

 

That is GREAT.

OK, here is one that was emailed to me. I hope George doesn't mind me posting another joke ???

THIS IS FUNNY if you haven't heard it before. WORTH IT!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Jenkins comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner...who lives with a female roommate Vikki... During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Vikki and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Vikki came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't

suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mama,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response e-mail from his Mama, which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Vikki, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.


Love, Mama

Lesson of the day: Don't Lie to Your Mother.........

 

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who's there?", calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

"Nice tits," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"

 

BUMP (..........read shameless self promotion).