We were living on the beach in Marina del Rey. It was Saturday night and we had Mrs. Raptor's family and my best friend, Bart, over for dinner. We were all pretty drunk. My mother in law makes a pass at Bart to make my father in law jealous. So my father in law wants to fight Bart. This is really comical. Bart is this really bad ass guy who had just done a year in the federal pen at Lompoc for making pistol silencers. The LA Times bust called it "...the largest ATF weapons bust on the West Coast in recent years." Bart wants no part of this. My father in law takes a swing at him and falls down on the floor. I have to help him up, take him into another room, sit him down, and tell him to cool off. Then Mrs. Raptor's aunt, my mother in law's sister gets into the act. This is a pompous bitch who thinks she's a glamour queer. A real asshole. She decides she's going to piss her sister off and makes a pass at me. Kisses me on the lips. Instead, she pisses off Mrs. Raptor, who screams at her "WTF are you doing? Do you want to go to bed with my husband, you ing bitch?" Then Mrs. Raptor takes a swing at her -- just misses. I have to separate them. Then my mother in law lays into her (they never did like each other), calls her every name in the book. I have to separate them. Then my father comes out to see what all the ruckus is about and wants to fight Bart again. At this point, I send them all home. What a pleasant evening.

 

Tooo funny R B!!!! Where would we be without your stories huh???

 

You gotta be kidding me Raptor....





















If not, I wanna be at one of these dinners. (and I'm serious)

 

I try not to do that stuff anymore.

 

Sounds fun though.

 

Too a point. It just got out of hand.

 

If you can't laugh at that kind of story you'd just have to go shoot yourself...

Look at it this way, you won't have to worry about seeing the inlaws for a while.

Athanor Environmental Services, Inc. -- at the leading edge of the titanic struggle to reverse the cynical downward spiral into the gloomy green hell of inter-generational family relationships.

 

 

good stuff!

 

my family never gets that exciting hehe