I know I haven't done this in a while....and I know "the walls have eyes"...but to hell with it!

Wussing Up the Men's Room

Our new office doesn't have it's own bathroom, right? Not the end of the world by any stretch, but in recent months there have been some strange happenings in that restroom that, until just ten minutes ago, were completely unexplained.

Several months ago, some real estate brokerage company moved into the office space directly next to us, bringing with it a slew of funny smells and shredded toilet paper. Now, everybody has the occasional bad one. I can't fault anybody for having to use the toilet....The part that always struck me as odd was the paper.

I've had this conversation with my boss, and back then nobody really had an answer for what would cause it. Every once in a while you'd go into the men's room and be greeted by torn up toilet paper everywhere!. It was like someone ripped up a bunch of squares and spent five minutes tossing them around on the floor. Sometimes the mess would even makes it's way out of the bathroom....out of the vestibule....INTO the hallway. It just didn't make any sense.

I have officially witnessed exactly what has been happening.

One of the guys next door is apparently deathly afraid of the toilet seat. Why? I have no idea, given the fact that every terrible experience I've ever had was generally the office next door's fault....that and the fact the cleaning crew scrubs it twice a day......anyways... Since we don't have any of those seat-cover things you generally see in the ladies room The guy takes two minutes and half a roll of toilet paper, covering every square inch of the toilet you might possibly come in contact with. I was in the bathroom for all of this. The guy then hunkers down...does what needs to be done....and stands up, knocking half the toilet paper to the floor. He then proceeds to shuffle around in the stall, straightening himself out, only to run out of the bathroom as quickly as he can...leaving the toilet paper on the seat and the floor!

Here's my befuddlement.... You don't like sitting on the seat?....okay...fine.... But why not get rid of all the damn paper? If the only thing that has come in contact with said paper is YOUR OWN ASS....what is it about your backside that makes you afraid of putting it in the toilet? You flushed the thing...you didn't do that with your foot...What's the deal? KICK the sheets into the water for all I care...Why do we have to clean for you? Here's the kicker...the guy didn't wash his hands! How does someone THAT afraid of making contact with a toilet bowl not wash their hands!?! We live in a strange world....populated by even stranger people!

 

Dr. Fock, might I suggest pooping on the floor and leaving a note stating that you'll continue to do so until they get toilet seat covers.

 

I'd post your mini-rant to back of the stall door so that he could read it.

 

Lock him in the bathroom next time.

 

 

Used to be a courtesy flush was all the rage...young shitters today...no respect!!

 

I'm not sure whether to or








I'm leaning towards

 

I thought about that...especially because I was so dumbfounded by the whole thing I didn't say anything when the guy ran out.


I wasn't kidding either...the guy half-sprinted out of the bathroom. I've never seen that kind of behavior in a human being....though it did remind me of Kelly's cat when he's done with the litter box

 

HE needs to be publicly shamed!