Here's a little dig at that punk John Kerry:

G. W. Bush and John Kerry somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Kerry in his chair reached for the aftershave. Kerry was quick to stop him saying, "Oh no thanks, my wife Theresa will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse," The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?" Bush replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

 

Has anyone seen a bullfight. I got the chance in Spain. Glad this didn't happen to me


An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are the bull's testicles from the bullfight this morning. A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bullfight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you served yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

 

And one more for the golfers out there:

Buttercups:

Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods
and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his
ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the
patch.

All of a sudden.....POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old
woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make
those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't haveany
butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won't have
any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!!!!!

Then POOF!......she was gone!

After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend,
"Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back "I'm over here in the pussy willows."

Dave shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Fred; for the love of God, DON'T SWING!!!!!