Go ahead... ask the doc, he knows all!!!
02-27-2003 | 07:24 AM
#121
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IS that the junkyard where Wicked will go in about 50 years?
No. Science dictates that there is a rather large differential between 'the wicked' and THE Wicked. Hell, intended on being the final resting place for the wicked, was never meant to be the final resting place of THE Wicked. Ancient Japanese folk tales speak of a certain immortality associated with THE Wicked. Evidence of this has surfaced as far back as the 13th century, during the early stages of THE Wicked's development. Findings suggest that its' geneolical components, coupled with substantial TLC should couple THE Wicked to an infinite lifespan. There was a study done recently in Cambridge to support that theory, and the only additional information was the suggested implementation of the occasional 'California Duster' to promote a boost in attitude.
02-27-2003 | 07:35 AM
#122
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what can i do for raptor not to hate me anymore
The Doc says:
At the risk of giving the impression that I am not devoting my full time and available resources to this enigma, I have to suggest that you research an earlier problem that MOM confronted with the same individual, but ultimately found solace with what I believe to be a Coke followed by the inevitable smile. In the late 1970's the act of offering a Coke followed by a smile was known to subdue even the most irate. After a near career ending injury, Joe Greene of the Pittsburgh Steelers was making his way into the team locker-room facility, and in a furious mood. An adolescant who held Mr. Greene in high regards approached him, and offered him the Coke, following it with a smile. The result was nothing short of a miracle. Mr. Greene was instantly healed, rejoined the sporting contest, single-handedly won the contest, rewarded the adolescant for his good deed with his game jersey and a check for $2,000,000, then lifted a wrecked bus off of a pregnant woman on the way home, saving both her life, and the lives of everyone on the bus. Some of this was captured on prime-time television, but the rest is little known fact. Do not underestimate the power of a Coke and a smile.
I feel yucky and I need to go take the VMOM Mobile in for her 15K service 
What should I do?????????
02-27-2003 | 09:12 AM
#126
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From: Port-au-Prince, Haiti
Originally posted by Zoechops
the Doc says:
My boy, you need to get out more often. Currently, quite a few hot-dog distributors are selling in packs of 8, just like the buns. For many, this is a refreshing change and a welcome answer to their 8:10 ratio dilemma. However, for others, like myself, a new problem is created. When the ratio was still 8:10, things were peaceful. You may indeed be asking, "but Doc, how could this be???". In my household, Mrs. Doctor Chops ocassionally enjoys a raw weenie... as well as a raw hot dog. Her hunger is usually curbed with approximately 2 raw hot dogs per every 10 we purchase. This , for you math-magicians out there, now leaves the 8 required hot dogs. Thus we have a happy and productive 8:8 ratio. It was back in the early 40's that I first started petitioning the hot dog distributors to include the extra two hot dogs per package. They complied with my demands up until the last decade when all hell broke loose, and pig rectums and sheep lips were at an all time low. Faced with these shortages, the distributors were forced to either lower the ass/lip content per hot dog, or limit the number of hot dogs per package. The result is what we have now... you can either buy 10 hot dogs with lower ass/lip content, or buy the ass/lip rich hot dogs in fewer numbers. The choice is one of personal preference
the Doc says:
My boy, you need to get out more often. Currently, quite a few hot-dog distributors are selling in packs of 8, just like the buns. For many, this is a refreshing change and a welcome answer to their 8:10 ratio dilemma. However, for others, like myself, a new problem is created. When the ratio was still 8:10, things were peaceful. You may indeed be asking, "but Doc, how could this be???". In my household, Mrs. Doctor Chops ocassionally enjoys a raw weenie... as well as a raw hot dog. Her hunger is usually curbed with approximately 2 raw hot dogs per every 10 we purchase. This , for you math-magicians out there, now leaves the 8 required hot dogs. Thus we have a happy and productive 8:8 ratio. It was back in the early 40's that I first started petitioning the hot dog distributors to include the extra two hot dogs per package. They complied with my demands up until the last decade when all hell broke loose, and pig rectums and sheep lips were at an all time low. Faced with these shortages, the distributors were forced to either lower the ass/lip content per hot dog, or limit the number of hot dogs per package. The result is what we have now... you can either buy 10 hot dogs with lower ass/lip content, or buy the ass/lip rich hot dogs in fewer numbers. The choice is one of personal preference
Thanks Zoe, I feel much better about this topic....something tells me that, by the time this thread kicks the bucket, you'll be able to type 200 words a minute! 
02-27-2003 | 10:20 AM
#127
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From: Camarillo
Originally posted by Zoechops
The Doc says:
No. Science dictates that there is a rather large differential between 'the wicked' and THE Wicked. Hell, intended on being the final resting place for the wicked, was never meant to be the final resting place of THE Wicked. Ancient Japanese folk tales speak of a certain immortality associated with THE Wicked. Evidence of this has surfaced as far back as the 13th century, during the early stages of THE Wicked's development. Findings suggest that its' geneolical components, coupled with substantial TLC should couple THE Wicked to an infinite lifespan. There was a study done recently in Cambridge to support that theory, and the only additional information was the suggested implementation of the occasional 'California Duster' to promote a boost in attitude.
The Doc says:
No. Science dictates that there is a rather large differential between 'the wicked' and THE Wicked. Hell, intended on being the final resting place for the wicked, was never meant to be the final resting place of THE Wicked. Ancient Japanese folk tales speak of a certain immortality associated with THE Wicked. Evidence of this has surfaced as far back as the 13th century, during the early stages of THE Wicked's development. Findings suggest that its' geneolical components, coupled with substantial TLC should couple THE Wicked to an infinite lifespan. There was a study done recently in Cambridge to support that theory, and the only additional information was the suggested implementation of the occasional 'California Duster' to promote a boost in attitude.
02-27-2003 | 01:06 PM
#130
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Hey Doc, why is it 70 degrees in the DC Metro area one year....and 16 degrees with the wind chill factor with snow every week the other?
Most will argue that global warming is the culprit responsible for todays erratic weather patterns. A lesser group will insist that the weather is the product of government testing. Both are wrong. This year's arctic like winter on the East Coast is the in direct result of A fatter, unhealthier society. The folks on the West Coast have always been known to be health-nuts, this is why they have not experienced the same problems. The declining health factor in the East is linked to dietary indulgances. this leads to frequent trips to the refrigerator. the constant open-door state is allowing harmful sub *40 airtemperatures to overcome the normal *68 room temperatures thus developing a colder average temperature. This colder average temperature coupled with massive amount of sweat eminating from the south, gives us precipitation in the form of snow. This snow is relocated from the sky to the ground by gravity, where it remains until warmer temperatures change it back to sweat, so that it may return to its original emitter. that is why its colder and snowier.