http://www.runleiarun.com/lebowski/

 

Bite thy tongue Donald, For I have doth gazed at this parchment most dubious for well on two eves.

Jack Quince art a pederast.
Liam O' Brian a mere trifle.
Oliver still a nihlist.
And The Knave, or mayhap, El Knaverino in the manner of the Spaniard, doth abide.

I state again, bite thy tongue.

 

This befalleth when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks, Laurence! Understand’st thou? Dost thou attend me? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence, when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks?!

This be what befalleth, Laurence! This be what be...falleth, Laurence!

 

I need no sympathy, no emotion.
That I need is only my Johnson.

 

Obviously thou art not a golfer.

 

This was riveting: about to buy it again for my Kindle.