Dude, i just went through some similar crap with my old lady, sans the baby situation. We've been together for two years and living together for almost a year. one day in may she comes up and says she's not in love w/ me anymore and is moving out. of course i'm like WTF... anyway after trying to convice her to change her mind i just left her alone. anyways to make a long story short, after finding out some "stuff" about her we talked and talked and talked one night. we have gotten back together although she still moved out and got her own apartment. we've only been back together for maybe 3 weeks and i was really tentative about it but we are taking things slowly and honestly living apart will be a good thing ultimately.

I guess all i'm saying is give her some time to come around. the infidelity does make things more complicated but if you really care enough about her and make clear that if it ever happens again you are AUDI 5Gs then i think it's ok to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I hope things work out!

 

Run Forest Run!

 

Mike, sucks to hear about this. For what its worth. My main concern is with the baby. I hope you two sit down with her parents and maybe your parents and maybe even the guy that could be the alternate father and make sure that everyone is inagreement that whoever the baby belongs to, that those parties will do whatever it takes to make that babies life as functional as possible. nothing good can come out of a father that is rarely there and always arguing with the mother when he is. i think that if it will not work between you two, you need to be adults about it and work out a "NEVER-sexual" friendship as you will be "together" for the rest of your lives whether you like it of not.

The one thing you dont want is a delinquent child that makes you look back and see all the petty, selfish things that could have changed to avoid the situation. Because you are the two people 100% responsible for how that kid ends up. He/she could become a Mother Theresa or a Charles Manson.

I hate to see kids suffer for selfish parents.

sorry for the preaching, good luck.

Dave

 

Yea, I am concerned about the baby too. I know that if its mine I will do the best I can to be a good as father as I can be but it Im scared that I wont be able to see it as much as needed, atleast with the way shes acting RIGHT NOW. I wouldnt want to miss those first steps, that first word or anything like that among the many other things. Maybe once she gets a test (and hopefully that will be sooner than later) and knows for sure who is the babys dad she can make a more logical decision about things, right now I think this is the biggest issue on everything. Ill pay for the test myself if thats what it would take, its alot on the chest right now to say the least. Shes all on this independant kick and "I dont need anyones help" type thing, and needless to say... im NOT digging that. She is about to get a slap in the face with reality if she doesnt open her eyes soon.I only hope that she will think like you are about it Dave and I think everything will be ok.

 

i'll say a prayer for ya man, that sucks big time... girls make life worth living and at the same time, make life hell

 

You said that right man. Im beginning to think that its not mine... just out of the way shes acting. We havent really talked in several days now which sucks. I couldnt see her doing that if she knew i was the babys dad but at the same time she hasnt told me it isnt... maybe she really doesnt know. THIS SUCKS!

 

It seems to me you need to step away a bit and let her have her space to think about what she really wants...and for you to do the same. This pregnancy is definitely complicating your relationship. It should not be used as a reason to get married, though. You said you respect her for telling you about the other person (persons??), but the fact that she wasn't faithful to you is not a good sign. I'd make a commitment to the child (if it is yours), but not to this woman. Sorry...

 

Yea looking back on it now... we were getting married because of the kid. At the time when the baby was concieved we were not exclusive to each other so I couldnt get mad about it, so I had to respect her for her honesty because with all things said she could not have told me and left me clueless. But the getting married thing was all in the heat of the moment and atleast its not going down that road now with all things said. And last week I told her I was giving her all the space she needs with this situation... so I suppose shell talk when shes ready.

 

Marriage should not be entered into lightly. "Until death do us apart" should be remembered and adhered to. Can you see yourself with her 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, 50 years down the road? Can you grow old with her by your side? What are some of the principle values and foundation upon which you are building your marriage? Consider few of these and pray for wisdom and discernment. Good luck!

 

Yea with all things said... marriage is out the window for a long time btw us now. That was jumping head first into concrete... i suppose we both were caught up in the moment. Im glad were not getting married now, it could have only made things worse between us and the baby. And I must make a note of something now... as of yesterday she has been really chatty and friendly to me and she smiles whenever she looks at me and cant stop. So upon talking to her yesterday she said she felt great and hadnt felt sick all day (same with today too). Ok now when she broke everything off, the very next day she started getting nauseous and vomiting all the time. So could it be her hormones going off the charts and messing with her that has caused this turmoil possibly? Because I see it as too much of a coincidence that she flips on me then gets sick... then feels fine and is obviousl trying to butter me up. Reguardless if it is or not... im going slow with things now. Btw, thanks everyone for you input and support so far!! I suppose knowing if its her hormones is like trying to guess a number behind a card... you just dont really know.